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We Got This Covered
David James

‘The dumbest reality’: Kash Patel confirms FBI agents to be trained by UFC fighters

There’s always more, and it’s always dumber. Beer-swilling, private-jet enjoying former podcaster Kash Patel has unveiled a “historic” new development for the FBI, in which their agents will get to learn from and train with UFC fighters.

A statement from Patel and released by the UFC said:

“I’m thrilled to announce this historic seminar between the FBI and the UFC at Quantico. This is a tremendous opportunity for our FBI agents to learn and train with some of the greatest athletes on earth — helping the world’s premier law enforcement agency be even better prepared to protect the American people.”

This will take place at the FBI Special Agent Academy in Quantico, and will see UFC fighters teaching the FBI “fighting methods and tactics”. You may rightly wonder exactly why FBI agents would need to know UFC-style hand-to-hand combat.

After all, all agents are already trained in this as part of the defensive tactics program at the FBI academy. As you might expect from law enforcement, the training emphasizes control, restraint, and survival.

Agents have it hammered into them that their priority is to make a safe arrest while managing their own safety, how to de-escalate conflict, and how to arrest someone in a way that can withstand scrutiny in court. If all else fails, they’re taught to transition to firearms if needed.

Why would FBI agents even need this?

But Kash Patel clearly wants his agents to be fighting MMA style in the field, doubtless hoping to see some suspects dragged in with shattered bones and open wounds. He went on to praise UFC CEO Dana White (a huge Trump fan), saying:

“Dana White has changed the game in the mixed martial arts industry and we’re extremely honored to be partnered with him, the professionals, and the UFC. We are grateful for their shared love of our nation, so that we can better defend her.”

White returned the compliment, saying:

“I have tremendous respect for the FBI and the work they do every day to protect this country. It’s an incredible opportunity for our athletes…and we’re proud to support the FBI in strengthening their defense techniques.”

Needless to say, this is all incredibly stupid stuff, especially given that FBI agents get into physical altercations far less than local or state police as their work is focused on investigations, surveillance, interviews, and intelligence work.

What this ridiculous scheme actually is, is free advertising for the UFC in advance of the also bonkers upcoming UFC event at the White House in June.

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