As hard as it may be to believe, the Conner family is getting set to wrap on 15 years of being front and center in primetime, after ten seasons of Roseanne and five of The Conners, after first arriving on ABC 35 years ago. Legacies like that are fairly rare on the small screen, and are worthy of celebrating in big and extravagant ways. For instance, as a very specific hypothetical, what if the iconic sitcom got its own attraction at a Disney theme park? I pitched that question to The Conners star Lecy Goranson, as well as showrunner Bruce Helford and executive producer Dave Caplan, during a pair of Season 5 interviews. And hilariously enough, Goranson and Caplan were independently on the same page.
When CinemaBlend spoke with Goranson ahead of Becky being called a bad mom by Katey Sagal’s Louise, the topic of Disneyland came up, as she’d recently paid a visit to that park’s version of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, and absolutely loved it. (Even though she’s technically more of a Star Trek fan.) But she wasn’t picturing far away galaxies when I asked about a Conners ride, as she answered with:
Oh my god, I guess it would be kind of like a low-end version of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. You'd go in the backyard and the chickens would scatter and, you know, you'd have meatloaf flying at you. And you'd be going through The Lunchbox and it would be crazy, and Jackie would kind of spring on you. Something like that. Stew falling from the ceiling.
Doesn’t it make ultra-perfect sense? Of all the Disney-created attractions that have graced the company’s theme parks around the world, none seem so befitting of this sitcom family than the one that’s arguably the weirdest, darkest, and most frightening to young children. And they’d no doubt be proud of that distinction.
The answer is so perfect, in fact, that EP Dave Caplan had the same idea, even though I hadn’t mentioned Lecy Goranson’s idea when asking. In his words:
Yeah, maybe something like a Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride through a bunch of discounts, where some are legit, and some aren’t.
Oh, the humanity! The true hell of that ride would be for the person behind Darlene in line at the grocery store as she’s trying to use illegitimate coupons.
Interestingly enough, Disney revealed in late April that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride is one of three rides being closed for refurbishment within Disneyland proper. Just a coincidence, or is the park making some changes that’ll put ABC’s most iconic family in the dead-center of the ride? I guess we’ll have to wait and s…okay, it’s definitely just a coincidence. But how cool would it be to see John Goodman’s Dan in the underworld?
Beyond Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Bruce Helford and Dave Caplan had a few other silly ideas for rides and attractions that would match up with Lanford’s elite.
- Bruce Helford: If there’s such a thing as an economic roller coaster, that would be good.
- Dave Caplan: What about a haunted house with just creditors?
- Bruce Helford: One of those sudden drop rides, but it doesn't go back up. It just drops.
Those ideas technically don’t sound as all-around awesome and must-have as some of the movie-themed Disney rides we’ve fantasized about over the years. But what if we could make all of this happen in VR? GET ON IT, GAME DEVS! I want to be dodging falling stew and running from haunted creditors by the end of 2023.
While we’re on the subject, check out what we’d want to see from an all-Tom Cruise theme park, and don’t forget The Conners’ Season 5 finale will air on ABC on Wednesday, May 3, at 8:00 p.m. ET, and will be available for fans to stream with a Hulu subscription.
