Name: The breakfast kebab.
Age: Brand new.
Appearance: Like a kebab, but for breakfast.
Surely any kebab can be breakfast if you eat it at breakfast time? Perhaps, but this is a purpose-built breakfast kebab – a wrap containing chicken or beef with egg, tomato and a side of hash brown “bites”, available from 7am.
Exactly where is it available? At the fast food outlet German Doner Kebab (GDK).
OK. And exactly why is it available? GDK’s CEO, Simon Wallis, says the company is on a mission to “reverse the stereotypical associations the great British public have with this product”.
I’m not sure they’ve succeeded there. Wallis also called the breakfast kebab a “gamechanger” when it was launched at GDK’s new restaurant at Baldock services on the A1(M).
The last time I ate a kebab at 7am, I was in no shape to drive. It’s also available at the central London branch. If it’s a success, it could be rolled out nationwide.
I can’t see it – if a chicken wrap isn’t a good idea at four in the morning, it’s not going to be a better one at seven. If you prefer, it can be served in a brioche bun.
Thank you, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the game to change that much. But breakfast wraps aren’t even that new. They have them at McDonald’s.
They do? Perhaps I need to get out more – and earlier. And have you never heard of a breakfast burrito?
I don’t believe I have, no. Really? They’re not exactly obscure. They’re everywhere and have been for a while. The NHS even has a recipe on its website.
What’s in one? Typically, egg, avocado, pico de gallo, bacon, peppers and cheese, but it’s sort of up to you. Just think: breakfast on the inside, tortilla on the outside.
Fascinating. Are there any other common comestibles that can be rendered gamechanging simply by putting the word “breakfast” in front of them? More than you can imagine. If you look online, you’ll find recipes for breakfast tacos (made with a waffle instead of a tortilla), breakfast pizza and breakfast ramen.
None of those things sound remotely advisable. And then there is breakfast sushi, breakfast pasta and breakfast biryani burritos.
What next, dinner cereal? Don’t even pretend you haven’t tried that.
Do say: “If you think about it, the breakfast kebab is probably nutritionally similar to a full English.”
Don’t say: “What sort of breakfast IPAs do you have?”
