Recently I started watching the Japanese Netflix series The Boyfriend and call me a hopeless romantic, but I have fallen head over heels for each cast member as well as the show’s format.
It’s one of THE most refreshing dating shows to come out in recent years and the fact that it’s queer is a pure bonus. Trust the LGBTQIA+ angels to provide us with healthy, wholesome love as opposed to the heteronormativity that has been on vicious rotation since the early ’00s.
The Boyfriend is being praised for its refreshing and non-toxic format. (Credit: Netflix)
Have I produced some of the aforementioned shows in the past? Well, yes (I am a television producer as well as a writer and model, just FYI). Were they fun to work on? Also yes. They absolutely serve a purpose and I have naturally dabbled in watching them myself.
But there is an aggressive lack of queer representation in reality television — especially in Australia — and I think it’s time we address it.
Netflix’s The Boyfriend is groundbreaking queer television
The fact that in 2024, queer people still aren’t displayed more on television is wild to me — which is why Netflix’s The Boyfriend is utter perfection. The cast are sweet, cheeky, gorgeous individuals from all walks of life with different interests and one goal… to find love.
The basic premise of the show is that eight men move in to a house together and immediately become housemates and colleagues as they all have to take turns to work in their coffee van. Each day, one person is allowed to choose someone to work with, which acts as a vehicle (literally), not just to get to know one another, but to build a bond and navigate a potentially stressful situation. Any money earned goes to the house kitty which goes towards their groceries and any household needs.
I’ve now reached episode six of The Boyfriend and not one potential couple has shared a kiss yet, which is quite shocking, remarkable and beautiful.
The way their bonds form and/or fail to form makes for truly unique television that warms my heart. Rather than focusing on salacious hook-ups or honing in on someone’s villain origin story like other reality shows, it’s welcoming realistic ways of finding your person through conversation that ignites a spark, instead of guaranteeing it.
In fact, the villain in this story seems to be the society in which they exist as almost all participants discuss the difficulties they have faced when coming to terms with their sexuality and/or the impact their family have had on their growth when greeted with either acceptance or disappointment.
To be honest, the whole series feels like a Sofia Coppola film — to the naked eye, it may appear like nothing is happening, but if you study the nuances between their looks, touches and body language; it expresses far more dialogue than words could ever articulate.
It’s truly captivating television and people are HOOKED!
Where is Australia’s queer dating show?
The whole premise of a dating show is fascinating, we take complete strangers looking for their person, throw in some cameras and place them in an isolated environment where they can take advantage of the experience and embrace the dates, love and, of course, the dramaaaaaa that comes their way.
This begs the question, why are these shows popular? Well, because we as humans are all looking for our “person” one way or another but it seems that the LGBTQIA+ community hasn’t been worthy of that same privilege. At least not on reality television in Australia.
I understand that production companies are fearful that they’ll get it wrong, to which I say, it’s quite easy to get it right. All you need to do is pour the same resources you provide to other shows in to a queer dating show, correctly and respectfully. The times they have attempted to do it correctly, I fear they’ve worried about the wrong audience… the straight audience.
How will we make Barry in central Australia comfortable? Well, if Barry is uncomfortable, that is something he needs to work out. Instead of cutting up his steak like he’s 3 years old, allow him to digest this entertainment (read: education) in a way that feeds him with curiosity and not bigotry.
I’ve worked in reality television now for eight years, helping to cast and produce dating shows across multiple countries and networks. However, when you google “LGBTQIA+ Aussie Dating Show” two results appear, ABC’s Better Date Than Never, which featured a trans woman and a gay man, and Brooke Blurton’s 2021 season of The Bachelorette.
Brooke Blurton in The Bachelorette. (Credit: Ten)
The latter, although groundbreaking, missed the mark for many and was one of the worst-rated seasons of the series, which has now sadly been cancelled due to poor ratings.
This brings me to my next point: responsible casting. When you are selecting the most palatable humans to represent a community, this is not going to benefit us, it’s going to fail us. You’re telling the Australian audience that there is one type of queer human who is appropriate to have on television, which is downright dangerous. As I wrote this, a car drove past me and screamed “f-slur”, the timing couldn’t have been more (in)appropriate. How and why is this okay?
1. It’s not and never will be.
2. Because men like that one don’t see enough queer representation on screen that tells them that we are human too, who are worthy of respect and dare I say it… love.
When networks stop worrying about money and ratings and start focusing more on the safety of a large portion of its viewers, maybe then myself and people like me will be able to walk alone, catch public transport alone or, god forbid, just be alone in public.
Australia is ready for an all-queer dating show
I worked on the iconic 2019 season of The Bachelor with science daddy Matt Agnew. I’ll never forget that feeling of stepping anxiously into video village (this is where all the mini TV screens are on display, capturing the action on the ground) and becoming equal parts mesmerised and exhilarated as I was suddenly surrounded by close to 100 crew members who were all helping orchestrate a forever love story.
My role that season was to create and produce the dates the guests would go on for the world to see. It was a difficult task, as you’re not able to repeat any date that had previously been seen. The one date I am most proud of was when we were introduced to queen Abbie Chatfield’s Archibald Prize-worthy portrait of her inner drag queen which was run by none other than Art Simone.
This was one of the most successful episodes of that season and I wholeheartedly believe it’s because the women’s energy unquestionably shifted when met with a queer person.
Art Simone with Matt Agnew’s contestants — including a young Abbie Chatfield — on The Bachelor. (Credit: 10)
It became a safe environment where vulnerability and sincerity were on display, allowing for connections to flourish and audiences to engage, much like they have with Japan’s The Boyfriend.
But it’s not just Japan that’s had success with a series focusing exclusively on queer love. The US created The Ultimatum: Queer Love and the UK have I Kissed A Boy, I Kissed a Girl — both of which were hugely successful and the latter even spawned a spinoff.
So, I welcome all chats with Australian production companies to make this happen locally. As a veteran casting producer, I will not sit in another pitch meeting to be told that “Australia isn’t ready”.
We are, and it’s a little disconcerting that it’s taking us this long to join the queer love reality show party.
Let’s be with the times, not behind it.
The Boyfriend is now streaming on Netflix.
Sandy McIntyre is a nonbinary model, actor, producer and writer based in Gadigal. You can find them on Insta.
The post The Boyfriend, Netflix’s Queer Japanese Dating Show, Is My New Obsession & We Need An Aussie Version appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
