It’s possible to imagine future generations sifting through the wreckage of our time like the archaeologists at Pompeii and Ercolano, searching for insights into the last generation with memories of a time before the cataclysm — and the first generation to have some idea of the cataclysm to come.
“What did the scientists tasked with extreme weather warnings say, when the floods first came?” they will ask as they power up the ancient computer, found in the underwater cavern that used to be the Bureau of Meteorology’s office and meticulously repaired. There will be a long, baffled pause.
“They put out a press release insisting they be called ‘the Bureau’.”
Yesterday, as part of Victoria, NSW and Tasmania dealt with severe flooding, as La Niña enters its third consecutive year, the Bureau of Meteorology issued a press release requesting media organisations refer to it by its full name in the first instance, and “the Bureau” thereafter. This is “more crucial than ever”, the release said, given “an ever-increasing number of severe weather events” — as though whoever wrote the opening sentence wasn’t allowed to read the rest of the release.
Yes, just as we shifted metres of pumice and ash to find that those grand Roman towns of classical antiquity were completely obsessed with drawing dicks on things and bawdy slander, future scientists will find that the defining characteristic of our age is needless and costly rebrands.
In fact, we in the bunker are increasingly convinced this whole thing is an elaborate prank. Just check out the AusTender notice for the rebranding contract:
The company is called “C Word Communications”?! Was C BoM Communications taken? And you paid it $69,300?! Come on! Why not round the figure up to $69,420 and be done with it?
Because surely, surely, you wouldn’t spend just under $70,000 on an unnecessary rebrand — under the guise of clearer messaging — without even securing most of the necessary Twitter handles, unless you were doing a really committed comedy bit.
Has the BoM dropped a clanger on this? Let us know your thoughts by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.
