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Tribune News Service
Tribune News Service
National
Kate Feldman

The best burns from Biden, Trevor Noah at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Joe Biden’s got jokes.

The president took his critics — and even some friends — down a notch or two Saturday night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the first time a sitting president has attended since President Barack Obama did so in 2016.

Here are his and host Trevor Noah’s best jokes from the Nerd Prom.

On Trump

“This is the first time the president has attended this dinner in six years. It’s understandable. We had a horrible plague, followed by two years of COVID.” — Biden

“I know there are questions about whether we should gather here tonight, because of COVID. Well, we’re here to show the country that we’re getting through this pandemic. Plus, everyone had to prove they’re fully vaccinated and boosted. So if you’re home watching this, and you’re wondering how to do that, just contact your favorite Fox News reporter. They’re all here, vaccinated and boosted. All of them.” — Biden

“I know Fox has a bad reputation — I can even feel you tense up now when I talk about them. They really do crush it. You know, I think they get a bad rap. Because it’s a mixed bag. They actually have really good journalists, it just depends on when you watch. Fox News is sort of like a Waffle House. Yeah, it’s relatively normal in the afternoon, but as soon as the sun goes down, there’s a drunk lady named Jeanine threatening to fight every Mexican who comes in.” — Noah

On COVID-19

“You guys spent the last two years telling everyone about the importance of wearing masks and avoiding large, indoor gatherings. Then the second someone offers you a free dinner, you all turn into Joe Rogan, huh?” — Noah

On politics

“I’m not here to roast the GOP. That’s not my style. There’s nothing I could say about the GOP that (House Minority Leader) Kevin McCarthy hasn’t already put on tape.” — Biden

“Interesting fact: Even as first lady, Dr. Biden, continued her teaching career, the first time a presidential spouse has ever done so. Congratulations. You might think it’s because she loves teaching so much, but it’s actually because she’s still paying off her student debt. I’m sorry about that, Jill. Guess you should’ve voted for Bernie.” — Noah

On reporters

“A special thanks to the 42 percent of you who actually applauded. I’m really excited to be here tonight with the only group of Americans with a lower approval rating than I have.” — Biden

“Chuck Todd is here. … I’d ask a follow up but I know you don’t know what those are.” — Noah

“Apparently Jeff (Zucker) got fired after he tried to keep his workplace relationship a secret, which is weird because if he really didn’t want anyone to know about it, he could’ve just made a show about it on CNN Plus.” — Noah

“Think of all the journalists whose careers have been hurt by the Biden presidency. People like Daniel Dale. He used to be CNN’s fact-checker on TV every day, but now there’s barely anything to check. Same for Glenn Kessler at The Washington Post. On the way here, I saw him offering four Pinocchios for a dollar. Mr. President, that’s on you. What about Maggie Haberman? For four years, it was exclusives on the Russia investigation, corruption, the president doesn’t read his daily briefings, on and on. Now look at her. She spends all day fighting with random people on Twitter like a common political reporter. You’ve ruined her, Mr. President.” — Noah

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