Family man John Dempsey did not expect to find himself being forcibly removed from his home in Tickenham, North Somerst, at the age of 48. At first the police thought he was under the influence of drugs but John didn’t take drugs and had never experienced any psychotic symptoms prior to his first episode in 2017.
What really triggered the apocalyptic visions he experienced that evening remains a mystery. But the visions of the earth on fire were so traumatic that they triggered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
John still has vivid memories of that evening which led to him running around The Bristol Royal Infirmary (BRI) proclaiming, ‘I am King Arthur’ at the top of his voice. For the last six years he has been trying to make sense of his experience while simultaneously coping with the horrific flashbacks.
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John counts himself lucky, having only spent 17 days in a psychiatric ward, after getting a 28-day section under the Mental Health Act. He is able to live a stable life and works as a gardener during the week and waits tables at a pub just outside of Bristol at the weekend.
He believes that by taking actions such as changing his diet, keeping busy, helping others and acting on his growing environmental concerns have contributed to his recovery. He also paid to see a private psychotherapist and wrote a book entitled, ‘I am Arthur, King of the Britons’ which he hopes to get published.
John said: “Psychosis is both frightening and disturbing, it heightens paranoia, and deepest fears become a reality. Suicidal thoughts become rampant and taking your life may seem the only way to escape, I would have done so too that night had I not been restrained by policemen and handcuffed to a stretcher.
“Psychosis amplifies our innermost fears and brings them into reality. My recollections of my psychotic visions brought on PTSD. I awoke most nights from nightmares sweating with a fever.
“I cried a lot and was offered antidepressants and mood stabilisers by my GP but little else. I felt unsupported and discouraged to seek help elsewhere.
“Recovery was not an easy path as commonly there is no encouragement, support, or mentoring for psychosis, only medication. I found that powerful emotions rose and fell almost daily.
“The belief that I am Arthur is sincere and maybe a way of coping with a serious illness and overt concerns about the future and the environment. As a way for me to be strong in difficult circumstances, I found the ‘king’ inside me.
“People may ridicule serious mental health issues, that’s okay, it’s better than being frightened. I do get strange looks sometimes when I mention that I had psychosis.
“It has been a long and challenging journey of self-discovery. I refused my medication, and it's probably not advisable for the vast majority.
“Yet despite the odds, I have learnt to appreciate the benefits on my mind and body of a simpler existence from natural healthy meals, exercise, vocation and community.
“I have completely re-evaluated my life and realised that love is more important than wealth and status. Even though I have more spiritual leanings than before, I am not puritan or holy, I still make mistakes. I know my psychosis will always haunt me, but I am a better person for my experience. And I am whole.”
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