The Bachelors Recap: Wait, When Did Felix Evolve Beyond Fuckboy

We’re halfway through this season can you bloody believe it? I really thought there was going to be a chaos twist where they just opened a trapdoor and thirty more women and maybe two other Bachelors just for funsies. And then the new drama is who gets a bed vs. who has to sleep on the cold tacky tiles in Cheug Mansion. But yes anyway we’re halfway, no one new is joining I assume, boring boring. We open this episode of The Bachelors again with a flash forward which everyone seems to hate but I love it?? Anyway it’s Jess

Kiss me in front of the creepy brass statue of this couple beb

DAMIENMeditation DaddySealy

Mate!! How do you do it!!!

OsherLeahGondoleahEmmaKrystal Our Lord And Saviour, Jess, Alesia, GC Gwyneth

Look it’s Gondoleah, thingy, and That Gal

The Bachelors

I don’t even have a funny here it was just rly sweet

The Bachelors

did someone kill Felix and replace him with a doppelganger

Abigail, 26: would like some free beauty products at the end of this shitshow

The Bachelors

Don’t pick the sea cucumber pick me

Kmart MGK

if you squint and also block your ears and also crouch in the foetal position you could pretend you’re at The Killers

ThomasJas

DAD’S TAKING ME TO THE PLAYGROUND!

Tilly

WHERE’S MY FRANK GREEN THOUGH

Artwork: ‘Shit date’, acrylic on canvas

“and then there’s the one where you need to kiss women in front of other women so they feel bad”

Esther Perel

BLAAAAGH NO! YUCKY! ICKY!

I choose chaos

lol this was prob an edited screenshot where a producer said “we ran out of champers”

The BachelorsMelissa Mason is a freelance writer, you can find her on Insta and TikTok.

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