Helldivers, at ease! Magnus "And Don't Even Ask Questions Later" Feuerkraft speakin', Seventeen-Star General of Super Earth and eight-time recipient of the prestigious Purple Finger medal.* I figure it's time to lay down the law – this here communique, to be issued galaxy-wide, is about that most important of things when you're in the field, cooperation! A patriotic man might well throw up his field rations at what I'm about to say, but I've been told that some of you Helldivers ain't cooperatin' as a team, and don't got each other's backs in the field. I know, I know, excessive cooperation can lead to thoughts of socialism, but just keep takin' the red, white and blue pills and that shouldn't be an issue.
The point is, I'm hearin' some deeply troublin' reports from the front lines. Helldivers headin' off their own, leavin' their fellow soldiers in enemy terrain. Friendly fire at a rate above the acceptable 70% threshold! Support weapons bein' stolen from the heroes who ordered them in! Samples bein' left uncollected in the field! Damn it, it almost makes you fear for sweet liberty itself!
