For many years, one of the star cameo performers on NBC's Late Night With Conan O'Brien was the Masturbating Bear, an uncouth beast with enlarged genitalia who'd appear on the show, usually to perform an innocuous task, then proceed to toy furiously with himself. And on Jul 11, 2000, he attacked Jimmy Page and the Black Crowes.
The story is retold in the latest episode of the Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend podcast, in which Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson talks about the rise of the band, his relationship with brother Rich Robinson, their new album Happiness Bastards, and the Masturbating Bear.
"You had said – just before the show – 'Hey, Conan! I want you to bring out the masturbating bear while I'm sitting there,'" O'Brien remembers. "That great thing is that you and Rich know what's going on, you've watched the show before. You're chatting with Jimmy Page, the creator of Led Zeppelin, when all of a sudden we had the bear come out and start masturbating in front of Jimmy."
"You and your brother are howling laughing, and Jimmy has this look of like [adopts unflappable English accent], 'I've seen it all. I'm sorry.' And he didn't know what it was, but a bear came out in a diaper and started masturbating in front of him, and he was like, 'Oh, this happened in '72 in Seattle, my boy. You think a masturbating bear will faze me? The Led Zeppelin jet was flown by a masturbating bear.'"
In footage of this historic confrontation, Masturbating Bear quickly tires of trying to impress Page, and instead mounts Chris Robinson, and the two embark on a rigorous bout of pretend coitus.
When O'Brien joined The Tonight Show in 2009, he was obliged to leave the Masturbating Bear behind as his antics were considered too risque for the earlier time slot. And in 2017, he revealed that the bear had died of autoerotic asphyxiation two years earlier.
The Black Crowes tour the US with Aerosmith later this year. Full dates below.
One of my favorite memories from Late Night is when Chris Robinson helped me use the Masturbating Bear to prank @JimmyPage. Listen here: https://t.co/pfOk236hQr pic.twitter.com/v01If7tKWeMay 27, 2024
The Black Crowes: European Tour 2024
May 29: Frankfurt Alte Oper, Germany
May 30: Stuttgart Liederhalle, Germany
Jun 01: Berlin, DE Verti Music Hall, Germany
Jun 04: Copenhagen Falkonersalen, Denmark
Jun 05/08: Sweden Rock Festival, Sweden
Jun 09: Stone & Music Festival, Spain
Aerosmoth: Peace Out Farewell Tour 2024-2025
Sep 20: Pittsburgh PPG Paints Arena, PA^
Sep 23: Philadelphia Wells Fargo Center, PA*
Sep 26: Louisville KFC Yum! Center, KY*
Sep 29: Cleveland Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse, OH*
Oct 02: Charlotte Spectrum Center, NC*
Oct 05: Knoxville Thompson Boling Arena, TN*
Oct 08: Washington Capitol One Arena, DC*
Oct 11: Atlanta State Farm Arena, GA*
Oct 14: St. Louis Enterprise Center, MO*
Oct 17: Cincinnati Heritage Bank Center, OH*
Oct 20: Nashville Bridgestone Arena, TN*
Oct 31: Phoenix Footprint Center, AZ*
Nov 03: San Antonio Frost Bank Center, TX*
Nov 06: Austin Moody Center, TX*
Nov 09: Dallas American Airlines Center, TX*
Nov 12: Tulsa BOK Center, OK*
Nov 15: Omaha CHI Health Center, NE*
Nov 18: Denver Ball Arena, CO*
Nov 21: Portland Moda Center,*
Nov 24: Seattle Climate Pledge Arena, WA*
Nov 27: Salt Lake City Delta Center, UT *
Nov 30: San Francisco Chase Center, CA*
Dec 04: San Jose SAP Center, CA*
Dec 07: Los Angeles Kia Forum, CA*
Dec 28: Newark Prudential Center, NJ*
Dec 31: Boston TD Garden, MA*
Jan 04: Detroit Little Caesars Arena, MI*
Jan 07: Toronto ScotiaBank Arena, ON*
Jan 10: Montreal Bell Centre, QC*
Jan 13: Columbus Schottenstein Center, OH*
Jan 16: Indianapolis Gainbridge Fieldhouse, IN*
Jan 19: Chicago United Center, IL*
Jan 22: St. Paul Xcel Energy Center, MN*
Jan 25: Kansas City T-Mobile Center, MO*
Feb 11: Orlando Kia Center, FL*
Feb 14: Tampa Amalie Arena, FL*
Feb 17: Sunrise Amerant Bank Arena, FL*
Feb 20: Raleigh PNC Arena, NC*
Feb 23: New York Madison Square Garden, NY *
Feb 26: Buffalo KeyBank Center, NY*
^ = with Teddy Swims
* = with The Black Crowes
