I legit cannot with Tesla's Cybertruck.
I get that there's a certain group of folks who dig its brutalist exterior and Blade Runner vibes, but the entire project just seems so half-assed, it's almost comical. Almost. The Cybertruck, just like the rest of Tesla's offerings, just aren't up to snuff when it comes to fit and finish, and most of all, engineering.
Case in point, though the Cybertruck has "truck" literally in its name, it's failed at just about everything any normal truck can do. That's included off-roading, hauling gear and motorcycles, and standing up to the abuse of one Whistlin' Diesel. But the YouTuber accidentally shed light on one of the Cybertruck's chief engineering failures when he ripped off the vehicle's bumper: the tow bar's vertical load weight.
For those who've never heard of vertical load weight, it's a component of the vehicle's tongue weight, which relates to how much weight can be transferred to the vehicle via a trailer. Vertical load refers to how much downward or upward weight the tow box can withstand before snapping ala Thanos in Avengers.
Most trucks have a vertical load limit of about half their tongue weights, i.e. my Honda Ridgeline has a tongue weight limit of 600 pounds, which translates to a vertical load limit of 300 ish pounds. The Ford F-150 has a tongue weight of 1,400 pounds, with a vertical load limit of 500 pounds. So you'd guess that the Tesla Cybertruck and its 1,100-pound tongue weight would have a similar, if slightly lesser vertical load, right? Wrong.
Instead of half, it's just 160 pounds, as confirmed by the "truck's" manual.
That's...just not good enough. It's so not good enough that not only would I never even consider attaching a hitch-mounted motorcycle carrier, but I'd be real worried at attaching a hitch-mounted bicycle carrier. Like, one wrong bump or pot-hole and you're shearing off your entire rear bumper. Which, as we saw in Whistlin' Diesel's video, is a structural component. It's literally part of the "truck's" frame and battery pack, so if you do break it, you're SOL and likely seeing a truly hefty repair bill.
So I'm sorry, owners, but the Cybertruck is just not a truck. It's a toy, a plaything, a vehicle to stunt on "the haters" of the world. Because if you do even a modicum of truck stuff with it, like tow your UTVs, ATVs, and snowmobiles, or try to attach a hitch-mounted carrier, you're likely to seriously break it.
And even though my Ridgeline saw itself infested by mice, it's more of a truck than Tesla's.
