Hats off to Tesco: it’s hard to think of a weirder festive advert to come out this year. In fact, this one might take the prize for the weirdest festive ad ever created: good (or possibly bad) news for glazy-eyed TV viewers, who will no doubt sit up when this comes on screen.
It starts innocently enough. A dad and his eye-rolling teenage son head to a Tesco, but the minute the dad picks up a festive treat (the Tesco Finest Triple Chocolate Star Shaped Panettone, no less), he gets infected with – horrors! – the festive spirit. What does this manifest as? Why, he turns into a Christmas tree, of course, much to the horror of said son.
Soon enough, everybody’s at it. Forget John Lewis’ Venus Flytrap: there is nothing creepier than watching somebody pick up a plate of mince pies and turn spontaneously into a snowman, complete with a full face of white make-up.
Their Christmas party, meanwhile, is attended by snow globes, sentient Christmas puddings, and – what’s this? The Tesco delivery driver is here, only they’re a gingerbread man (or woman, more accurately). Wouldn’t it have been great to be at this pitch meeting? “I want festive, but completely crackers!” “I have it, sir: what if Kafka wrote a Christmas story."
And all the while, the son is fighting back the onslaught of this festive virus. At one point, pine needles start growing up his arm, which is maybe the creepiest moment in this episode. Yes, we're into bodyhorror territory here.
The ad itself been soundtracked to OMC’s How Bizarre, which is a welcome change from the usual festive-heavy schmaltz, but which doesn’t so much drive the point home as take a sledgehammer to it and slam it through the Earth’s crust.
I loved it, though it did start to drag towards the two minute mark, but some, probably, will despise it. It’s hard to imagine anybody being indifferent to it.
The main question is, though, will this convince anybody to shop at Tesco? If there’s a danger of contracting a serious case of Christmas tree, I think I might have to consider alternative options this year – if only because all those pine needles would clash horribly with my Christmas jumper.
