Experts agree that authoritarian parenting bears more downsides than benefits. The story you’re about to read shows how the situation can become more problematic when it involves a stepparent who enters the picture later in the child’s life.
A teenager who reconnected with his absentee father immediately received a favor to babysit his soon-to-be-born half-brother. However, issues arose because of his strained relationship with his controlling stepmother.
The author completely distanced himself from his dad’s side of the family. However, his grandparents advised him to reconsider, leading him to approach the AITAH subreddit to seek answers.
Relationships between a child and their stepparent can be complicated, especially during the teenage years
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)
A young man refused to establish a relationship with his soon-to-born half-brother because of his controlling stepmom
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
The author eventually cut ties with his father’s side of the family
Trying to discipline a child is one of the biggest mistakes stepparents make
Image credits: Monstera Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Based on the author’s story, he didn’t seem close to his stepmother. According to experts, immediately doling out punishments without establishing a solid parental relationship can only lead to more significant issues.
Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Kasi Patterson calls this a “recipe for disaster.” In such cases, he advises letting the biological father handle the disciplining duties at the onset.
“It would be better to speak with your spouse offline, offer support/counsel, and allow them to impart the discipline,” Dr. Patterson said in an interview with Business Insider, adding that stepparents must first focus on building a “trusting relationship.”
The stepmother also seems to lack affection toward the author, which experts say is another common mistake. According to parent educator Rich Heller, many stepparents resort to this approach “out of concern that they are setting themselves up,” in this case, between the teenage boy and his father.
Support should be the foundation of the relationship between a stepparent and a child
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The stepmom’s attitude towards the author’s choices of reading materials immediately caused issues. According to experts, showing support should be a top priority of stepparents, especially while they are still building a relationship with the child.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Joanne Pedro-Caroll has one straightforward piece of advice: proceed slowly.
“Not as a disciplinarian, but as a supportive friend to the child,” she told Parents.com.
As stepparents work toward establishing a solid relationship, other experts, like licensed family therapist Carrie Krawiec, advise focusing on building up their “loving-feeling bank account.” Biological parents have worked on this since the child’s birth.
Krawiec also emphasized the significance of making the stepchild feel secure.
“Look for ways to point out, compliment, and reward the right things kids are doing,” she told Michigan State University in an interview.
The stepmom could turn things around by making these changes. Unfortunately, the author has seemingly made a final decision, and it could take a while to persuade him to change his mind.
What do you think, readers? Was the young man too harsh with the choice he made?
Most commenters showed their support for the author
