Family dynamics are as varied and diverse as are relationships in general. While it is impossible to master them, you can definitely still try to at least get good at it.
Still, we have stories like this one surfacing of kids being effectively abandoned because teenagers are a whole ecosystem in and of itself and parents are just done with it.
Parenting is one of those “jobs” that are definitely above the pay grade of… well, any position
Image credits: NomadSoul1 (not the actual photo)
So, when things hit the fan, expect anything. Even if it is abandonment and then inevitably ruining your mom’s engagement party
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
Image source: UnlikelyAd5151
Because the story is so layered, both sides can be considered at fault and not at all depending on your perspective
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
We’ll let the story speak for itself, but the gist is that parents have a kid, parents divorce, one day the kid has a teenage angst fueled fallout with the mom who takes him to the dad and essentially leaves him there and keeps on living her life as normal.
One day, the mom’s organizing an engagement party with her new hubby and the kid, now 6 years older at 17, confronts her about it all and effectively ruins it.
And this is where commenters start saying “this is above the pay grade of this sub.” The official flair says that OP is not in the wrong, but opinions varied wildly with OP not being a jerk to everyone being one to nobody being at fault.
Needless to say, studies show abandonment and similar issues have a huge impact on children’s development
Image creidts: David Garrison (not the actual photo)
There’s a study that sought to identify whether rejection, abandonment and neglect trigger things like shame and guilt in adolescence. Through a series of tests, the researchers concluded among several things that parental rejection was responsible for greater feelings of guilt, but not shame.
Though, it is important to note that trauma in general was a factor that showed an increase of intensity of shame and guilt. The environment was another crucial factor as to how much of these feelings are there because parents have the power to shape the moral emotions and can actually induce feelings of guilt and shame.
Other implications of abandonment include fear of giving too much in relationships, pushing people away to avoid rejection, people pleasing, feelings of insecurity in intimate relationships, necessity for reassurance, among many others. Mental health professionals like therapists and counselors can help with this.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!