The taxi driver who survived a suicide bomb blast is still haunted by nightmares a year on.
David Perry, 46, from Liverpool, has been diagnosed with PTSD and has been receiving counselling after his miracle escape.
But the family man hopes he will one day get back behind the wheel of a cab.
David’s rented Ford Focus Estate was blown apart by deranged bomber Emad al-Swealmeen outside Liverpool Women’s hospital on Remembrance Sunday last year.
In his only interview since the attack, he told the Mirror how he has flashbacks from the blast and is still finding bits of the bomb in his body.
He also told how he feared other terrorists would come looking for him in the weeks after the explosion.
Even on the evening of the attack, he remembers staying up late with his wife to witness his attacker’s face being revealed on the news.
He explains: “I wanted to see who it was, I wanted to know if I recognised him or if I’d seen his face. But when I saw him it was just another lunatic to me, another evil person.”
David adds: “Paranoia takes over, you start thinking people are coming to finish you off.
“You’re round the bend, you’re looking out the window, you don’t sleep, you are permanently glued to the telly, you’re addicted to the news, you’re waiting to hear if anyone is involved.
“I didn’t sleep for months. And then you kind of slip away and all the psychological problems start kicking in, PTSD and everything else. You can’t cope and you can slip into a hole.
“It’s like depression, things start getting on top of you, it’s like a battle trying to get yourself out. It was a really bad place, not just for me, but for my wife and kids, everyone was struggling.”
But David didn’t get professional help until six months after the attack.
He added: “It wasn’t until people like my wife started saying, ‘Listen, something is not right here.
“When you’re down you don’t realise the way you are.
“Everything is a battle, getting up is a battle, having a shower is a battle.”
David also feared he was cursed after coming across a stranger in the midst of a suicide attempt just days later.
He said: “The worst thing about it is you think everything around you is going to cause an accident.
“I think three or four days later, a woman was trying to throw herself in front of a wagon on Stanley Road.
“We had to phone the emergency services to stop her killing herself. It felt like if someone came near me something was going to happen to them.”
As the first anniversary approaches, David says his nightmares of being threatened have become more frequent.
He said: “The last couple of nights, the closer I’m getting to the weekend, the tinnitus has been getting louder and louder and the nightmares kick-in. It is all part of stress.”
But it’s not all been bad news. After his miraculous escape from a bomb less than a metre away, he is still defying doctors who predicted his decimated eardrums would “never grow back”.
He said: “I went back and they were in disbelief, the doctor said they have grown back, someone is still looking over you.”
It means that while he will need a hearing aid, he won’t need surgery.
While he has been unable to return to work, David hopes he may be able to get back out on the roads soon.
For now, his days are spent mentally and physically recovering from the ordeal, enjoying family time and taking care of the dogs.
And he’s been able to make ends meet during the cost of living crisis thanks to a popular GoFundMe page.
“I’ve not been in a position where I’ve been able to [work] mentally. I keep playing with the idea that I want to go back to taxiing. I don’t know why, it is kind of wanting to prove people wrong that I can do it.
“You miss it, you miss talking to people. You miss your regular customers. You don’t miss the bad parts but you miss the good days.”
Instead he’s focusing on being a dad, and is taking small steps by taking his family car out for short spins.
He said: “I’ve started driving over the last couple of months, not far, to the shops or to my mum’s.
“The first couple of months I didn’t know how I would cope driving, you don’t know how you are going to react. The thought of someone sitting behind you isn’t a great thing but it is a fear that you have to get over.”
Even 12 months on David is overwhelmed by the support he’s had from his friends, family, his home city and the general public.
He said: “The support I got from the whole world was unbelievable. I was getting thanks and messages from all over the world. Even when you’re out people come up to you and say. ‘Wow you’re amazing’. I’m not really.
“It’s a strange thing, it’s hard to accept people coming and applauding you for something you don’t feel you should be getting applauded for.
“The whole of Liverpol was amazing but that’s what Liverpool people do: they stick together and battle through.”
David feels more aware of terrorism now, and is still “wary” after everything he went through, but showered the counter-terror police with praise for their work.
He said: “We only hear a fraction of what goes on around the country. The terror response is that good that the public don’t realise what’s actually going on.
“We only ever heard about the bad things, the one or two that have slipped through.
“But the job they’re doing is unbelievable to stop the majority.”
The police have kept him fully briefed on the investigation, although he can’t tell us much.
And one day, when he’s back to full health, he’d like to meet the medics who cared for him again.
In a heartfelt message to the nurses and doctors he added: “I’m just so grateful, I want to say thanks. They’re just amazing, special people.”
Support is available for anyone affected by the anniversary of this attack at Support for Victims of Terrorism – Information on where to seek advice and assistance following a terrorist attack.
