Despite last week's cautionary column about special supermarket offers which are often not so special, it will come as no surprise that a couple of days ago I succumbed to a "special offer".
There are mitigating circumstances however, for the item in question was what author Bill Bryson called "A British masterpiece". He was referring to a biscuit to which I am rather partial -- the Dark Chocolate Digestive.
I'm afraid all dietary constraints go out of the window when faced with a chocolate digestive, but it has to be dark, not milk chocolate which does not appeal at all. Anyway I could not resist the supermarket's "two for a bit more than the price of one" offer.
One possibility as to why I am so weak-willed when faced with biscuits is that I was born in Reading which was known in the 1950s as the "Biscuit Town". It was home to Huntley and Palmers biscuit company which was the biggest employer in the town and for a period was the world's largest biscuit producer. It advertised itself as "the first name you think of in biscuits".
We had a school trip to the factory in the 1960s and I recall at the end being given hot hobnob biscuits straight off the production line -- schoolboy heaven.
Blowing the whistle
The company was so influential in the town that Reading football club was nicknamed "The Biscuitmen". It was later changed to the "Royals" because "C'mon you Biscuitmen" sounded a bit silly even to the most committed fan.
Referees loved officiating at Reading's old Elm Park stadium because at half-time in addition to the customary cup of tea, they were given a generous plate of Huntley and Palmers biscuits. After the match officials were sometimes spotted sneaking out of the stadium clutching large "doggy bags".
Tempting tins
H&P invented the decorative biscuit tin and I recall from my childhood one tin which had a Victorian Christmas scene with horses and carriage racing through the snow. It later became home for my collection of marbles which were all the rage at school at that time.
Much later in the 1970s a mischievous artist assigned to draw sketches for the tins included a couple of well-hidden naughty goings-on in the background. H&P quickly pulled them off the shelves but those tins are now lucrative collectibles.
Time for elevenses
Another reason for my partiality to biscuits is because our household regularly indulged in "elevenses", a mid-morning break for a cuppa and a few biscuits. We lived on a cul de sac and in the 1950s all it took was for my mother to mention over the garden wall she had put the kettle on and there would soon be a small gathering of housewives assembled in our kitchen eager to partake of the refreshments but perhaps more importantly, enjoying a good gossip. The H&P tin would appear and everyone would tuck in with ginger nuts, shortbreads and digestives among the favourites.
One thing I enjoyed about elevenses was that it was the only time you were allowed to dunk the biscuits in your cup of tea or coffee. The ginger nuts went down very nicely in this manner especially for ladies with false teeth.
Question of etiquette
In Britain the manner of consuming mundane items can still become a matter of lively debate. For example the UK seems split on the important issue of whether you should put salt or vinegar first on chips (French fries). I'm in the vinegar first camp.
Another long-term debate involves putting milk in a cup of tea before or after the hot water. Scientists claim milk should be put in the cup first as it will provide a better taste. However many Brits only add the milk at the end. Some even argue milk should never be put into a cup of tea at all, one critic calling it "a desecration".
Even author George Orwell got into the debate with a newspaper article 'A Nice Cup of Tea' in which he firmly supports the "milk last" approach.
Upside down
To my alarm the internet suggests I have been eating chocolate digestives incorrectly, or in other words, the wrong way up. I have always consumed the biscuit with the chocolate on top. But apparently they should be eaten with the chocolate side down. According to food expert Prof Charles Spence, you should "hold the biscuit chocolate side up first to maximise the visual experience and then switch it over as the biscuit is brought toward the mouth which provides the best multi-sensory experience".
Life will never be the same.
Oh no, Yoko
An innocent chocolate digestive sparked a big row between George Harrison and Yoko Ono at the Abbey Road studios in 1969. Harrison did not get on well with Yoko especially after she bizarrely set up a bed in the middle of the recording studio.
According to a sound engineer, during one session of Abbey Road Yoko got out of bed after spotting a packet of chocolate digestives which Harrison had left on his amplifier. She strolled over, opened the packet and began munching away when George spotted her. He was furious that she had pinched a biscuit without asking him and gave her an earful. It was still a great album though.
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