I would hate to have to launch a new product in 2026. Imagine a scenario where you’ve developed some ingenious new widget that costs millions of dollars to design, produce and bring to market. You could have quit numerous times. You probably wanted to, because there’s a new season of The Traitors and you have to catch up. But you never surrendered. You persevered, and your brilliant invention is ready for the world. All you have to do now is convince a society besieged by a nonstop cavalcade of crises to care. If the US government could kindly stop sending paramilitary forces to occupy major cities, that would be great for my brand.
This is the predicament faced by poor Sydney Sweeney, the actor best known for HBO’s Euphoria and the recent film The Housemaid. This week, Sweeney debuted a new lingerie line called “Syrn”. I presume it’s meant to be pronounced “siren”, since that’s a suitably sultry-sounding name. Also, confusing, which might be part of the brilliant marketing plan behind the launch. If you baffle enough people, they’ll be sure to Google you to see what your damn problem is anyway. If I was the marketing lead on this project, I would have suggested “Syren”, since that at least has a real vowel in it, like most actual words. Unfortunately, “Syren” was the name of a Confederate blockade runner during the civil war, which we (and very particularly Sydney Sweeney) would probably want to avoid associating with.
