Sven, the strange power of football and maybe even the meaning of life

‘Getting lost in football sometimes feels like such an important thing to be able to do.’ Illustration: Nathan Daniels/The Guardian

It’s the 85th minute of a top-of-the-table clash between the Melbourne University Bohemians and our opponents, Barnstoneworth: 2-2, the penultimate game of the season. A point favours them – identical records but their goal difference is wildly superior.

I show for a throw, slightly mis-control it under pressure and lump it somewhere upfield. “Shit yourself there, mate,” announces their centre-mid. Jet black mid-length curly hair, I’d put him about 20 years my junior.