Game over
So Usher came, conquered and made everyone miss the 2000s. Beyoncé turned a thankless-on-paper Verizon ad into a way to make a major album announcement, dropping two new country tracks. And Taylor had her romantic comedy ending, her boyfriend winning the Super Bowl.
It was a big night for reluctant sport-watchers, given all of the celebrity action, if not a long one for those holding onto see how Taylor would congratulate her fella. If anything, we saw less of her than we expected, probably a reaction to some of the miserly NFL viewers who has been complaining of late.
Anyway, off to go listen to 8701…
The power of TNT, as they’re called, has been so inescapable, so ubiquitous, that the movie rom-com ending of a super bowl win felt inevitable. Here is the big moment, that I’m sure we’ll hear about one day in a song.
A reminder of tonight’s big news:
Can we not?
Just like we drew it up. pic.twitter.com/9NBvc5nVZE
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) February 12, 2024
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Martin Lawrence has yoghurt strength
A classic Super Bowl ad combo here of an entertainer – comedian and actor Martin Lawrence – and an athlete – legendary football tight end Shannon Sharpe. They’re trying to Coke Zero yoghurt – AKA turn something typically geared toward a female audience toward men.
E*Trade babies burn pickleball
Perennial Super Bowl ad favorites the E*Trade babies are back, and taking aim at a worthy target: the adult fixation that is pickleball. “It’s basically tennis for babies, but for adults,” says one of them. “It should be called wiffle-tennis,” says the other. Burnt!
Kansas City team wins – or, more accurately, Taylor Swift wins, and celebrates accordingly.
🚨| Taylor Swift celebrating The Chiefs Super Bowl win! #SuperBowl2024
— The Eras Tour (@tswifterastour) February 12, 2024
pic.twitter.com/XOz8FhsQYP
Karma is the guy on the WHAT pic.twitter.com/dBSP7mVunz
— Taylor Swift Updates 🤍 (@swifferupdates) February 12, 2024
…
Congratulations to Taylor's boyfriend—and the entire Kansas City Chiefs community! 💕🏈
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) February 12, 2024
Here’s a look back at some of the big celebs of the night:
Is she gonna make it?
Taylor Swift is taking a private plane down to the field
— Carey O'Donnell (@ecareyo) February 12, 2024
Daddy Lessons hive, we are so back – the first two songs off of Renaissance Part II, Beyoncé’s country-tinged upcoming album, deliver on her long-teased promise of fitting her peerless voice around some twang.
Texas Hold ’Em, the song teased on the Instagram post and teased in her Verizon ad, is the more straightforwardly country of the two, with lilting acoustic guitar and talk of bars and hoedowns (plus a cocked handgun in the visualizer). Soulful and sassy, Beyoncé promises to “take it to the dive bar we always thought was nice” and, true to her spin on the genre, beckons “don’t be a bitch, come to take it to the floor now”.
16 Carriages is the weightier track, both in production and theme. Though it opens with acoustic chords and steel guitar twang, the song ultimately goes into rock-tinged ballad mode, with verses flowing into hip-hop cadence. A classic, immediately distinct Beyoncé genre-bender, with some seemingly personal admissions about “leaving home at an early age” and being, at one time, “underpaid and overwhelmed”. Some trademark country song grit and struggle here.
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Okay this is the last one, I swear:
Kurt Russell yelling at Wilford Brimley in the thing pic.twitter.com/PM8gpdpeCF
— 7/11 Truther (@DaveMcNamee3000) February 12, 2024
Pass the lighter
Once again, Bic gets Martha Stewart and her improbable friends, famous stoners Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg, together for a 30-second spot in which Willie borrows (and keeps) Snoop’s EZ Reach lighter for his floating candles and torch wick and presumably other things.
Here’s Adrian Horton’s review of tonight’s Usher action:
What the hell is going on over at Nickelodeon…
SpongeBob makes a joke about Leonardo DiCaprio on the Nickelodeon #SuperBowl stream.
— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) February 12, 2024
“Leonardo DiCaprio, 25! That’s his dating history.” pic.twitter.com/e8YXhj1czK
Despicable Me 4
Rather than just a shorter version of the original trailer for the fourth Despicable Me outing, Universal has specially crafted a canny little prod at AI instead, imagining that it is in fact the Minions in charge of the many awful examples of it we’ve seen of late. It’s also wise to focus on them over the lead Gru given their viral appeal and given the commercial success of the movies thus far, expect this to be a major hit later this year.
Excuse me
Nickelodeon covering the Super Bowl is something else pic.twitter.com/bO77ZUmj7S
— Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴 (@big_business_) February 12, 2024
Okay so yeah this one is gonna keep on running:
HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE pic.twitter.com/WZjyFWIAgH
— John Foley (@2008Philz) February 12, 2024
“TONY STARK BUILT ONE IN CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!” pic.twitter.com/pQMyn62HHo
— Nerd Chronic (@NerdChronic) February 12, 2024
Martha also enjoying her time on the big screen
good for some. bad for some pic.twitter.com/PsqDtPPv8L
— grass (@outfieldxgrass) February 12, 2024
Jason Momoa can sing
Zach Braff and Donald Faison have a Flashdance moment (with a little help from Jennifer Beal) in the name of T-Mobile wifi for Jason Momoa, who hits a high note. This does feel like Momoa’s public audition for romantic musical lead, casting agents take note.
Jeff Goldblum is there and Jeff Goldblum is excited to know that you know he’s there:
Jeff Goldblum looks like a fan who’s on the big screen for the first time in his life😂 pic.twitter.com/Mjqk2zneo6
— Romi Bean (@Romi_Bean) February 12, 2024
It’s weird that for pretty much all of the Taylor shots, we’ve had to rely on Twitter. There’s been a noticeable lack during the game.
They’re so self conscious about cutting to Taylor that they’ve overcorrected to not showing her at all. Huge failure for morale. China is laughing in our faces
— cancela lansbury (@gossipbabies) February 12, 2024
Don’t try the Doritos abuelas
Jenna Ortega’s abuelas, Dina and Mita, do not mess around with their Dinamita Doritos. The two unlikely stunt heroes track down the last bag taken by hot Top Gun actor Danny Ramirez in one of the more enjoyable bits of the night (grandmother action comedies should be a full genre – see Thelma when it’s released later this year).
Budweiser keeps it old school
Budweiser always has some variation of its famous Clydesdale horses and a charming dog, and this year is no different – people need beer, the horses deliver, the dog is happy, there’s much merriment to the song The Weight.
One of the night’s best:
glad to see usher looking happy and healthy in spite of his house falling
— jeeves (@jeeveswilliams) February 12, 2024
We’ve all been there:
when a guy with an android texts me pic.twitter.com/7wP6V6isrj
— kyttes 🪁 (@kyttes) February 12, 2024
Okay so TWO new Beyoncé songs have now hit streaming platforms and she is going full country. That cowboy hat shoulda told us …
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Rather like the Weeknd’s desperate search a few years back, this may be Usher’s big meme moment of the night:
AMC Employee: Can I see your ID for your A-list?
— Americana At Brand Memes (@americanamemes) February 12, 2024
Me: pic.twitter.com/erHyIkVx9K
Queen Latifah having an incredible time here, jealous of this energy!
Updated
There’s also now an extended version of Beyoncé’s ad you can see here:
With the announcement, maybe, of a new Beyoncé country album, possibly, it feels like perfect time to give this another listen:
This pic of Travis losing it seems to be the meme of the night:
IS IT A DEPARTMENT FOR POETS WHO FEEL THAT THEYRE TORTURED OR A DEPARTMENT WHERE POETS GO TO BE TORTURED? WHICH IS IT pic.twitter.com/lU2s0c7GSU
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) February 12, 2024
If
More Ryan Reynolds here, this time with his buddy John Krasinski for the actor turned A Quiet Place director’s new kids movie. If stands for Imaginary Friend and this latest tease starts with a Randall Park joke that resurrects an old Office joke apparently.
Eric Andre needs a doctor
A slightly nightmarish ad here for Drumstick ice cream which has Eric Andre on a plane in need of a doctor. Dr Umstick offers his help even if it’s totally not helpful and in fact dangerous.
So we have an update:
ACT II
— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@BeyLegion) February 12, 2024
3.29 pic.twitter.com/rbCfppWUBg
Is this a new country album? Is this a Telephone sequel? Is this a Paris, Texas remake? Like the internet, we are excited. A big Super Bowl for people who don’t care about the Super Bowl.
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An understandably disappointed Marlee Matlin here, highlighting the frustration of introducing but then not showing the ASL accompanying the pre-game anthems:
I am absolutely SHOCKED at @CBS for introducing the Deaf performers at today’s pregame #SuperBowl and then not showing even one second (or more) of their performance… as has been tradition for the last 30 years. WHY!?
— Marlee Matlin (@MarleeMatlin) February 11, 2024
Multiple ads tonight for online store Temu, a company I had never heard of until tonight, has led to some concerns over Temu’s finances:
Temu used y’all’s credit card info to buy two Super Bowl ads
— Tay *redacted* (@tayredacted) February 12, 2024
HOW IS TEMU AFFORDING THIS MANY ADS pic.twitter.com/fsVqDZAJOQ
— @lenlizivy.bsky.social (@soshimshi) February 12, 2024
The people in the Temu warehouse trying to fulfill all the orders after the 7,500 Super Bowl commercials pic.twitter.com/Pimj54lRah
— Bitchy Witch (@TraderGoys) February 12, 2024
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Toyota Terror
A strange tactic here for Toyota’s big Super Bowl ad, playing up how terrifying it can be to ride in one of their vehicles …
She’s at the game though!
Beyoncé spotted at the #SuperBowl. pic.twitter.com/n8qEBHKGMh
— Pop Base (@PopBase) February 12, 2024
So Beyoncé’s tease of new music has actually broken Twitter:
Beyonce: “Drop the new music.”
— Keaton Delmar Johns (@KeatonDJohns) February 12, 2024
Me:
pic.twitter.com/Cp6DsTnYLi
The internet looking for Béyonce’s “new music” after that Verizon commercial pic.twitter.com/IaYNAOxpyj
— bb (@brettxboon) February 12, 2024
Bud Light Genie
Bud Light, a beer brand still desperately hoping you don’t remember how it threw the LGBTQ+ community under the bus with the mishandling of the Dylan Mulvaney situation, is pinning hopes on Peyton Manning, a genie, Post Malone and a T-rex. Best of luck!
No T in Skechers
One of those dull-but-glad-you-got-that-cheque ads here with Mr T (no stranger to the world of ad money having done Snickers, Tide and Old Navy spots in the past) getting annoyed about there being no T in Skechers. Could have been made for Super Bowl 2004.
Can Beyoncé break the internet? Again?
"Drop the new music" - @Beyonce breaks the internet with a new #SuperBowl spot for Verizon pic.twitter.com/xdrxVulcrY
— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) February 12, 2024
So there had been a lot of speculation over what Beyoncé would be doing with Verizon after ads had teased her presence all week. The resulting commercial has her trying to break the company’s unbreakable internet with a montage of scenes that likely will break the internet, including her dressed up as Barbie (Barbey) and, at the end, saying she is going to drop some new music. Is it a joke? Is she actually? Was that cowboy hat at the Grammys a clue to the genre? More soon.
Pluto TV’s couch potatoes
I am not sure Pluto TV selling itself on the promise of turning its customers into farm-raised couch potatoes is a good marketing strategy, but it’s at least somewhat memorable.
Uber Eats, for Friends
In what has to be one of the most expensive spots of the night, Uber Eats get Jennifer Aniston to reunite with Friends co-star David Schwimmer, as well as the Beckhams and Usher, to act out a scenario in which, as Aniston puts it, “in order to remember something, you’ve got to forget something else. Make a little room.” For the Ross and Rachel fans, the two still have a flicker of their old comedic timing here.
So while that performance was good news for the most of us, there was some bad news for the Beliebers:
justin bieber while usher was performing #halftimeshow pic.twitter.com/sUybaDW9Zz
— Jerry🎧 (@xvesl) February 12, 2024
No Justin Bieber during Usher's halftime show#SuperBowl #SuperBowlLVIII #Usher pic.twitter.com/VHeArzzCm9
— Tyler Calvert (@ItsTylerCalvert) February 12, 2024
Usher brings out Lil Jon and Ludacris for Yeah!
One of the major highlights from the half-time show (more video to come)
usher perfoming the classic ‘YEAH’ with lil jon and ludacris 20 years later #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/nGEsjPfIzV
— 2000s (@PopCulture2000s) February 12, 2024
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Usher!
Well, we got nipples at the half-time show again. Usher didn’t just stay true to his word and shed his shirt. He packed an impressive number of hits into his setlist. By my informal and admittedly distracted count, he jammed 14 bangers into 12 minutes while leaving enough time for his featured guests to have the moment in the spotlight. Ludacris damn near got his entire verse on Yeah!, on which Lil John also featured prominently. But the highlight for my money was HER shredding electric guitar riff on U Got It Bad. The late Billy Odum (who played the original studio session) would be very proud indeed.
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Patrick Stewart throwing a child at a mountain
The ongoing Paramount+ mountain campaign finds something rather odd yet rather funny to do with the streamer’s many personalities, assembling Drew Barrymore, Patrick Stewart, Creed (?), Peppa Pig and others for an ad about how to scale heights. Their solution is to have Stewart throw Arnold, of Hey Arnold, as an anchor. Of course.
Well that was solid! A pretty brisk run through most of his biggest hits (no Good Kisser, sad) that brought some energy to the night, a lot more than last year’s more low-key offering from Rihanna. Usher certainly knows how to put on a show, singing and dancing with equal skill, a tiring thing to watch, let alone perform.
More pics to come.
Guests keep coming! Her just came on stage then some rollerskaters and now we have Lil Jon doing a Turn Down for What bit (this is a generous performance!) leading into the Yeah! we were all waiting for. Usher has his clothes back on, a sparkling skeleton suit of sorts and now it’s Lucadris surrounded by pole dancers. In front of them all, people are spelling out the word Usher with their bodies. It’s a heart-racing event as promised.
Updated
Usher has now gone way back to U Got It Bad and the shirt is now fully off, as promised, He’d been talking about a sugar and alcohol free diet leading up to tonight and with his new Skims ads also out, we can see the results.
He slows it down a bit again with Confessions leading into Burn and the clothes are already slowly falling off – again, who can blame him given the amount of dancing he’s doing under so many spotlights.
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Usher and Alicia Keys duet on If I Ain’t Got You
Alicia Keys is here! An incredible red piano and a catsuit to match. She’s allowed a brief section of If I Ain’t Got You (maybe that was part of the extra time Usher apparently got them to add) before they sell a slinky duet of My Boo.
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He’s sticking to some mid-tempo throwbacks before heading to Love in This Club, the lyrics of which are racier than the half-time show often likes to be. He’s backed by a full brass band and is maintaining an impressive energy throughout, singing and dancing at such a pace that he’s understandably starting to sweat. As are we.
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Usher is here! Yeah!
Okay enough throwing and shouting and ads for some Justin Hartley show we’re never going to watch, Usher is here! We’ve been promised dancing, Alicia Keys and shirtlessness and given his Vegas residency, someone who is used to giving on a big ole show in this town.
An Apple warning tells us this might cause gyrating and maybe relationship issues! Usher arrives all in white singing Caught UP (a personal fave) and is showing off his trademark dancing surrounded by various dancers covered in feathers. Exciting!
Etsy’s Gift Mode
No celebs here, just a bunch of old Americans trying to figure out what to gift France as a thank you for the Statue of Liberty and using Etsy to ship a custom cheeseboard.
Mark Wahlberg’s prayer app?
Another religious ad (after the He Gets Us Jesus campaign in the first quarter), this time for a Catholic prayer and meditation app called Hallow, repped by famous Catholic actor Mark Wahlberg. Something something about God, giving thanks and joining him in prayer for Lent on the app.
Another look here at the big stage change from our man on the ground Andrew Lawrence (is that a mushroom?).
Updated
Now that the football’s out of the way, finally, we can get on to the main event: the halftime show. The anticipation inside the stadium is building to a fever pitch, as the stage crew rush to build the various set pieces and the crowd slip on their light-up lanyards for Usher’s much-anticipated 12-minute performance. After a herky-jerky two quarters of action, this game could do with a little excitement.
Anthony Hopkins’s inner dragon
Cold brew coffee can make you feel crazy (I should know) – it’s so strong, in fact, that it powers Anthony Hopkins’s ultra-method prep for his greatest disappearing act yet: into the costume of Wrex the dragon, the mascot of Wrexham AFC. Team owners Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney, not present, cede the floor to Hopkins’ very invested performance as this “demanding” beast.
I mean …
Great work by Ben and Jen in that commercial pic.twitter.com/aT6MQUzlwr
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) February 12, 2024
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Kennedy?
Well that was weird – a presidential campaign ad for anti-vaxxer “independent” Robert F Kennedy Jr. The ad, paid for by American Values 2024, is half-disguised as vintage historical footage and very much relies on his name. A true “what the hell?” commercial and the only political ad so far (other than the Jesus ad, of course).
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Quinta Brunson says it’s tax time
Abbott Elementary star Quinta Brunson lures viewers to think about their taxes with a $1m sweepstakes and a bit about how an award-winning writer/director/actor could get her tax breaks.
Two faces in frame
A smart, and sweet, ad here to show how the newest Google Pixel phone can help blind people or those with low vision take selfies and photos. Directed by blind film-maker Adam Morse, it’s already scoring over 25m views on YouTube.
Shogun
New Extended TRAILER. Experience a time of war, treachery, and passion when legendary samurai fall and great empires rise.
— Disney+ Canada 🇨🇦 (@DisneyPlusCA) February 11, 2024
FX’s Shōgun premieres February 27 on Disney+ Canada. #ShogunFX pic.twitter.com/Wiq0pOUPKc
It was actually FX chief Josh Landgraf who spoke this past week about the peak TV era being over (which might not be a bad thing given how many, many, many shows don’t need to exist) but this latest look at the network’s latest suggests that there are new places still left to go. Based on the James Clavell novel that was previously a miniseries back in the 80s, Shogun promises to bring a big screen sheen to the world of small screen historical drama.
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Ben Affleck, Matt Damon & J Lo for Dunkin’
Once upon a time, Ben Affleck was photographed many, many times with his beloved Dunkin’ Donuts giant coffee. Then he worked at a Dunkin’ drive thru. Now he has agreed to lead the DunKings, swagged out in pink and orange along with Tom Brady and a very reluctant Matt Damon, to crash J Lo’s recording studio session. It is … a lot. I question this choice.
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Twitter is lighting up with speculation that Justin Bieber will join Usher on stage for the half-time show for a rendition of their classic (to young millennials) track Somebody to Love.
me when i see justin bieber hit that stage tonight during the halftime show pic.twitter.com/sauchPAKNM
— Valentina (@vvaalb) February 11, 2024
I would put the odds on Bieber making an appearance at a strong maybe, given that Usher has already said he’d be joined by Alicia Keys and hinted that Lil Jon and Ludacris would join, plus Bieber has avoided most performances in recent years. But he is at the game, so who knows!
Justin Bieber attending the #SuperBowl tonight in Las Vegas, NV.
— Justins Tour Updates (@JustinsTourNews) February 12, 2024
pic.twitter.com/TinLXfc0Gd
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We have five months of this:
Fixed it. pic.twitter.com/4tt9VFw9vk
— Hugh Jackman (@RealHughJackman) February 12, 2024
Taylor watching the game update (with video):
Chiefs fans in shock pic.twitter.com/8tvCHY7VrP
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) February 12, 2024
Scorsese and aliens for Squarespace
Squarespace recruited Martin Scorsese to direct an ad in which aliens’ first contact with Earth is thwarted by people’s chronic phone distraction. But a website makes it real to New Yorkers – and makes Marty late, owing to traffic.
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More bad Elmo PR:
scathing indictment on the Democratic Party https://t.co/WSMpRFbUsT
— Lucy (@LucyXIV) February 11, 2024
Alicia Keys is set to join Usher tonight as one of his special guests. Which means it is a good and important day for My Boo fans:
Mayo cat mania
Look, as a pre-eminent mayonnaise defender, I appreciate a spot in which people learn to appreciate the condiment + leftovers – in this case, Kate McKinnon, whose cat’s “may-eow” garners world adulation and a date with Pete Davidson. Yes, his former SNL co-worker gets in a dig about the quick turnover in Davidson’s love life.
Twist on it?
It’s always interesting to see how an age-old brand tries to reinvent itself for a new campaign and with the latest Oreo ad, we’re being told that twisting an Oreo in half is in fact an age-old way to make a decision. The new but old coin toss, if you will. Will it catch on? No!
T-Mobile’s celebrity auditions
The stars came out for T-Mobile’s magenta status auditions – Bradley Cooper and his mom Gloria, Laura Dern, Jennifer Hudson, Common, Gabriel Macht and Patrick J Adams (aka Harvey and Mike from Suits), and Scrubs’s Donald Faison and Zach Braff, all mock-filming some home tapes.
He’s still watching:
Will stay up all night to see
— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) February 11, 2024
Super Bowl
Taylor watching the game update:
LL Cool J conducts the Chill Train
LL Cool J is the new conductor of the Coors Light Chill Train, the locomotive mascot that brings Rocky Mountain cold to people around the world, etc. Singer Lainey Wilson, fresh off her Grammy win for best country album, is among the refreshed.
Dan Levy’s Homes.com pitch
Dan Levy plays a lavish, spend-y company heir making a pitch for Homes.com to execs with reason for skepticism: his plan involves an unwieldy helicopter, Heidi Gardner and Lil Wayne in a 21 Jump Street plan to research schools. Jeff Goldblum, back again for a homes website, gives his seal of approval.
Twisters
If you feel it, chase it. #TwistersMovie is only in theaters July 19. pic.twitter.com/tvZWyKNJ8a
— Twisters (@Twistersmovie) February 12, 2024
Chalk it up to a combination of climate change fears, 90s nostalgia and neverending sequelitis but somehow we have a new Twister film this summer, called, of course, Twisters. It’s oddly from the director of Minari, Lee Isaac Chung, which could bode well, as does a stacked young cast including Daisy Edgar Jones and Glen Powell. The teaser shows us what looks at times to be an almost-too-close reimagining of the first.
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Arnold can’t pronounce the State Farm slogan
The State Farm slogan “like a good neighbor” falls right into the sweet spot of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s accent – try as he might, the action hero can only get “like a good neighbaaaaa”, which the company milks for several on-set scenarios until a script change brings in Danny DeVito and saves the day.
A 30 Rock reunion for Booking.com
Booking.com provides so many options, so the thinking goes, that Tina Fey needs to recruit body doubles to experience it all – and enlists some 30 Rock alums (and Glenn Close, and a Bigfoot costume) for help. Good to see Jane Krakowski and Jack McBrayer back on screen in character, even for 10 seconds.
Addison Rae is a Nerd
A not-bad idea here for how to sell Nerds gummy clusters, essentially a big gummy covered in Nerds, by using a Flashdance homage. But perhaps concerned over just how big that film’s cultural footprint now is with gen Z-ers, there’s a shot of TikTok megastar Addison Rae eating a packet at the end. Easy money!
Ice Spice sees other sodas
Ice Spice makes a case for seeing other sodas while on the date with two mascots from Starry, Pepsi’s new Sprite competitor that I haven’t heard of (I guess it replaced Sierra Mist?). An ex representing a conspicuously unnamed rival soda is summarily dismissed.
Talkin’ like Walken
Christopher Walken’s speech pattern is so distinct and off-center (I am interested to see how this works in Dune: Part Two … ) that it’s actually a delight to see a bunch of people try to imitate him in the name of BMW – especially Ashley Park, stealing the scene of whatever she’s in. Usher does not attempt the bit and looks very suave as usual.
There’s always a Travis tweet:
hahhahahaha SUPERBOWL COMMERCIALS are the best!!! im lovin it! im about to slap the shit outta peoples heads now!
— Travis Kelce (@tkelce) February 7, 2010
Michael Cera’s CeraVe
In one of the better ads so far tonight, skincare brand CeraVe recruits faux-namesake Michael Cera to tout his own lotion line – “let my cream hydrate you,” he says while rubbing lotion on a mountain, lol. (The ad ends by stressing that he is not actually involved in making skin cream, a relief.)
Because you don’t need to pay attention to the actual game, it’s never not a good time to rewatch SNL’s many wonderful and disturbing Totinos Super Bowl ad spoofs:
Things get Messi
For about 30 seconds, I thought the sight of a world-famous soccer player nutmegging a dog and someone saying “that’s … Messi?” meant we were witnessing Messi the border collie, AKA Snoop, from Anatomy of a Fall, the Palm Dog winner who more than deserves his own commercial. Alas, it appears to be just Lionel Messi, World Cup-winning international soccer star, having a lovely little beachside game while waiting for his glass of Michelob Ultra. Jason Sudeikis and Dan Marino are also there.
Chris Pratt is Mr Pringles
All it takes is one stick-on mustache and a chance encounter at a convenience store for Chris Pratt to go viral as the Pringles Man and fulfill his destiny of starring in a serious historical biopic (Mr P), a nice jab at Oscar bait.
Aliens use Apartments.com
What a greeting extraterrestrials get to earth: Jeff Goldblum, plus an entry into Apartments.com, because presumably the rent is too high for the aliens, too.
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Ken Jeong goes back to the future of Popeyes
Unfrozen from a long sleep, Ken Jeong is game to try a number of baffling things about the present – self-driving cars, Roombas, high-powered scooters, fanny packs, labradoodles (best joke) and of course, Popeyes chicken wings.
Mullets mullets everywhere
Mullets are back and whether you approve of that or not (I don’t, I really, really don’t), Kawasaki is going all in with its new vehicle magically giving everyone, including animals, a mullet. Apparently the first 15,000 owners will also get a free mullet. The horror.
Aubrey Plaza is having a blast
As an actor, Aubrey Plaza might have matured out of her sullen brand of comedy, becoming a White Lotus standout and a Sundance mainstay, but as a hawker of goods, it’s a useful party trick to roll out. She’s here celebrating the 20th anniversary of Mountain Dew’s Baja Blast (how are you celebrating?) with a funny montage of different ways she can have fun. Including a neat cameo at the end.
We are not here for the sports, I promise, but the Chiefs’s intro “war chant” song is a good reminder that the team has been under pressure for years to change its Native American mascot.
The Kansas City team already banned mock headdresses and face paint at Arrowhead stadium in 2020, but the changes are “not at all effective,” said Ben West, the director of a new documentary on the fight to end racist mascots. The Chiefs continue to use an arrow mascot, its Native American name and the racist “tomahawk chop” chant.
“Banning war paint and headdresses doesn’t keep people from engaging in the behaviors that they have become accustomed to and attribute to some sort of tradition,” West told me. His film, Imagining the Indian, is streaming now and very much worth the watch.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
No one can stop the reign.
— Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (@ApesMovies) February 11, 2024
Watch the brand-new trailer for #KingdomOfThePlanetOfTheApes. Experience it in theaters May 10. pic.twitter.com/8YEjFRQ6WF
A fast cut tease of the new franchise reboot then leads those online to a new full-length look, offering an expansive idea of what’s at stake. The recentish Apes movies were far better than one would have expected, especially given how even Tim Burton couldn’t rise to the challenge, so there’s reason to be excited for more (even if Andy Serkis isn’t involved).
Taylor and Lana in public, a saga in two parts:
🚨 “Drag me up there like you did at the Grammys” - Lana Del Rey to Taylor Swift pic.twitter.com/uzHxhaTQ4C
— The Cult Of Del Rey (@CinamonSluh) February 11, 2024
BetMGM says no to Tom Brady
This is a Vegas game and, lest we forget, BetMGM, the sports betting partner to the casino, has an ad telling us something we all know to be true: Tom Brady has won enough. Vince Vaughan and Wayne Gretzky agree.
Wicked
Wicked. See it on the big screen this Thanksgiving. 💚💖 pic.twitter.com/JCRr6z6HAv
— Wicked Movie (@wickedmovie) February 11, 2024
Our first look at Wicked here, to the excitement of Broadway fans worldwide although once again, it looks like a marketing campaign for a musical that is decidedly not musical. Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande star, with Jeff Goldblum in support, and while it’s hard not to have some chilling Oz, the Great and Powerful flashbacks at some of the visuals, there’s enough magic here to suggest good things to come this Christmas.
Dove encourages body confidence
The beauty company uses its spot and the song Hard Knock Life to demonstrate that it’s not mistakes or losses that cause girls to leave sports, but low body confidence – 45% of girls quit sports by age 14, it says over a video of a girl looking nervous in a swimsuit, sure to trigger painful memories for many.
ScarJo is a loser
A big new M&Ms ad has the brand creating a prize for the losing team, made of diamonds crafted from M&Ms peanut butter. Almost sporting champions then cameo followed by Scarlett Johansson, who lost out on two Oscars in the same year. Finally a Super Bowl ad with a Marriage Story reference!
Deadpool & Wolverine
The Third Coming. #DeadpoolWolverine pic.twitter.com/Cdioeu3MuG
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) February 11, 2024
Arguably the most anticipated movie trailer tonight has been unveiled before the actual game begins, the first look at the third Deadpool movie, now known as Deadpool and Wolverine. It’s what one would expect – a pegging joke, some gun stuff, some winks at the camera and Wolverine – and after a no good awful very bad year, Marvel will be relieved this summer when this one makes a truckload.
Reba McEntire, beloved country and sitcom star, surely extends her national goodwill with a twangy take on the national anthem. It’s the fourth year in a row that the NFL has turned to a country artist for the national anthem – Eric Church and R&B singer Jazmine Sullivan in 2021, Mickey Guyton in 2022, and Chris Stapleton last year.
Reba, sporting a rhinestoned belt, provides a sweet and understated version of the anthem, with a soaring note at the end.
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A Quiet Place: Day One
The full tease for the horror prequel went live earlier this week so the big game spot for A Quiet Place: Day One isn’t quite the reveal it shoulda and coulda been but it will still be enough to pique the interest of those watching live. For many it’ll be the first time they’ll even be aware that the franchise is coming back, a smart business decision given how much money the first two made globally (over $600m combined). Oscar nominee Emily Blunt is passing the torch back to Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o for a look at how it all started. Interestingly, it comes from Michael Samoski, who broke out with Pig, the subdued Nicolas Cage drama from 2021.
Post Malone is here now to sing America the Beautiful, looking much thinner than he once was and decidedly country (he does live in Utah now). He still has the grills though and sounds good, giving the patriotic “from sea to shining sea” tune a bit of his trademark woozy, auto-tuned glow.
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Michael Caine is watching!
Love Las Vegas, got married there
— Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) February 11, 2024
One for the New Yorkers:
Me introducing my Bushwick friend to my Murray Hill friend pic.twitter.com/jaj9nLUfSN
— Harry Hill (@veryharryhill) February 11, 2024
The now familiar genre that is “grainy footage of Taylor watching the field from her suite” has begun – Swift is in her private box with Ice Spice, her family and Travis’s mom, Donna Kelce, waiting as we are for the game to start.
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Andra Day is now on the field (?), green (?), pitch (?) to sing Lift Every Voice and Sing, also known as the Black national anthem. Last year Sheryl Lee Ralph did the honours. Day’s voice is flawless (as is her acting in last month’s Sundance breakout Exhibiting Forgiveness).
It’s only the second time the song has been sung on the fieldgreenpitch.
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Donald Trump would love to make this Super Bowl about him, so I will keep this brief: the former president, openly paranoid that Taylor Swift will endorse Joe Biden, has taken the opportunity to call her “disloyal” in a post on Truth Social for … not endorsing him?
In the post, Trump cited the Music Modernization Act he signed in 2018 that, he says, should be the reason she supports him. “There’s no way she could endorse Crooked Joe Biden, the worst and most corrupt President in the History of our Country, and be disloyal to the man who made her so much money,” he wrote.
No response yet from Team Swift or Kelce, nor will there likely ever be.
I’m not sure if there are Vegas odds on Travis Kelce’s outfit in the same way as Taylor Swift, but for those wondering … this man is dressed (in sparkly black) to win a football game.
Travis Kelce looks like he comes to this place… for magic. 🖤🏈 #SBVLIII pic.twitter.com/iLKfq0Wter
— Frank Costa (@feistyfrank) February 11, 2024
It won’t just be Usher performing tonight. Not only will the R&B star bring on some special guests (Alicia Keys is confirmed but also Lil Jon? Ludacris? Burna Boy?) but we’ll also see Reba McEntire sing the national anthem, Post Malone take on America the Beautiful and Andra Day belt out Lift Every Voice and Sing.
Tiësto had been set to be in-house DJ but a “family emergency” has led him to drop out and being replaced by Kaskade.
It’s not just Taylor in attendance tonight. As is usual with the Super Bowl, a ton of other celebrities have shown up. Here’s a look at who we have so far:
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Taylor and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell talking about the league’s Taylor Swift viewership bump, perhaps?
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell having conversation with Taylor Swift: pic.twitter.com/H9PzFF2c5e
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) February 11, 2024
Amid the rampant speculation about Usher’s half-time performance, this much you can take to the bank: he will be rollerskating (as he has throughout his Vegas residency), and he will be taking his shirt off. The R&B superstar divulged that much in a recent CBS interview with Gayle King. He further shared that despite winning eight Grammys, he’s never been able to express his immense gratitude to his worldwide fanbase. “The categories I’ve been in have never been televised,” he said, to King’s shock. Hence why tonight’s performance, he said, will be “a celebration of those records that have meant something to the fans, those records that have meant something to my life”.
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Ads this year are estimated to cost companies around $7m for a 30-second slot which seems pretty reasonable when you find out how much celebrities are getting paid to star in them.
Last year, Ben Affleck reportedly made $10m for his Dunkins ad (he’ll be teaming up with them again for a commercial tonight) while Larry David also made $10m for his cursed FTX ad a year prior. “Part of my salary was in crypto — so I lost a lot of money,” he has said since.
According to CNN, at least two stars received more than $5m for ads tonight that see them star for less than 20 seconds apiece.
Is Beyoncé going to return to the Super Bowl tonight in the form of a Verizon commercial? The phone company has been teasing that she might with her silver Renaissance horse featuring in a tease along with Tony Hale:
We say yay. 2.11.24 pic.twitter.com/js35leFs5X
— Verizon (@Verizon) February 9, 2024
Are Travis and Taylor really our new Ross and Rachel? Tonight would be one heck of a big season finale if so. Here’s Elle Hunt on the pair:
As a tease of Usher’s big performance, some of the star’s nearest and dearest celeb pals (and a totally comfortable Tim Cook) have teamed up for this surprisingly elaborate Apple mini-movie:
One big question of the night already answered: Taylor is here!
She's here.
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) February 11, 2024
Taylor Swift has arrived at Allegiant Stadium for Super Bowl LVIII. pic.twitter.com/dYGYpt2dQ0
Dressed in black with a red Chiefs jacket, accompanied by her mother, Andrea Swift, and friends Blake Lively, Ice Spice and Ashley Avignone.
Jason Kelce and Taylor Swift share a hug in their suite before she introduces him to Ice Spice.
— Eagles Nation (@PHLEaglesNation) February 11, 2024
(Imagine hearing this sentence 6 months ago) pic.twitter.com/q96R3JK9rU
Swift’s appearance was highly speculated but just recently confirmed, despite the Japanese embassy’s attempt to reassure fans that she would make it back from her Tokyo concert in time: “Despite the 12-hour flight and 17-hour time difference, the embassy can confidently Speak Now to say that if she departs Tokyo in the evening after her concert, she should comfortably arrive in Las Vegas before the Super Bowl begins,” the embassy said in a statement. Best of luck to Taylor at handling a super-dose of jet lag and time zone changes.
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Ushering us in
It’s that time again. Not to, you know, pay any attention to all that kicking and running but to marvel at the many cultural treats surrounding the event. The Super Bowl is here, which means the biggest, and shortest, concert of the year, some starry big-budget ads, a ton of first-look movie trailers and, this year, the potential of a real-life romantic comedy playing out in front of our eyes.
Usher is the half-time performer, which means that for those of us who have grown up alongside him, there will be a crippling rush of nostalgia around 7.45/8-ish, recalling tipsy, over-emphatic dance moves in the club and earnest mirror ballads at home. The singer has promised an “event” and given his recent experience commanding an 18-month Vegas residency, one can expect a rise to the occasion.
Big stars featuring in ads include Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck and, ermmm, Kris Jenner, while new trailers unveiling should include Twisters and Deadpool 3. Verizon is also teasing that it might have the biggest celebrity get of all – Beyoncé – but let’s wait and see.
Then there’s the Taylor of it all. The recent Grammy record-breaker’s newish beau Travis Kelce’s team is playing tonight, which led many to wonder if she will also be in attendance. As of yesterday, the singer was in Japan on her mammoth Eras tour but she is officially there, alongside celeb pals. Which means it’s now time to figure out which of her songs will soundtrack the last act big kiss. Stay tuned.
