You may believe that the war that needs to be won right now is the one in Ukraine.
You may believe that the most important issue you need to deal with is how you are going to pay your bills over the coming months.
But if you listen to the right-wing media you will discover that you are most definitely wrong. The war that needs to be won, if we want to preserve civilisation, is the one on woke.
And the type of issues we need to deal with are the 0.1% of Britons who identify as trans, the spread of veggie sausage rolls and rainbow laces, the BBC employing ex-footballers who have political opinions, greens who want to stop the Earth burning, gender-neutral toilets, NHS diversity officers, civil servants working from home, breastfeeding in public, and students who don’t like statues that glorify slave-owners.
The war on woke, which translates to an army of permanently offended foot soldiers combing through every announcement or innovation to find something to outrage conservative thinkers, is the new Project Fear. And it is meant to literally put the fear of God into you.
Take the anti-woke story of the week: The Church of England wanting to call God a woman.
Well, that was how the right-wing newspapers and Fox-lite TV channels spent days talking about a trendy vicar in Surrey asking The Liturgical Commission if it was possible for the worshippers who want to, to speak of God without mentioning gender.
And even though a CoE spokesman said: “There are absolutely no plans to abolish or substantially revise currently authorised liturgies”, the anti-woke warriors claimed that cancel culture fanatics want to give God a vagina, which is further proof we’re all going to hell in a Marxist handcart.
The biggest joke is that this growing lobby of mostly old or middle-aged right-wingers claim young snowflakes looking for offence where it doesn’t exist is crippling all freedom of thought. Yet they choose to be offended by any move that doesn’t suit their set way of thinking. And the feigned anger has become draining.
Still it’s made a desperate Rishi Sunak pander to the Common Sense group of Tory MPs (who accuse the National Trust of being run by woke Marxists) by promoting one of their own number. And what an appointment.
Lee Anderson – an ex-local councillor who believes poor families can feed themselves on 30p a day and “nuisance” council tenants should be forced into tents and marched into fields at 6am to pick vegetables, who was caught lying on the campaign trail, wants to bring back hanging and boycotted the England football team when players took the knee – is now the Conservative Party’s deputy chairman.
So expect him, as we go into the next election, to further push the Common Sense agenda by asking if it’s time we made the following groups live in tents and pick vegetables at dawn: trade unions (or “the evil blob” as anti-woke warriors call them), welfare claimants (“feckless parasites”), trans people (“selfish c**kwobblers”), asylum-seekers (“rapist muggers”), environmentalists (“unwashed scum”), therapists (“compo enablers”), human rights lawyers (“enemies of the people”), vegans (“anaemic lentil-botherers”), cyclists (“Lycra-clad road tax dodgers”) and, of course, all gays, travellers, teachers and Muslims.
Which is fantastic news, as 30p Lee will no doubt help to eviscerate what is left of the Tory vote.
I’d like to think that it’s God getting her revenge.
