"Information is like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion. And then you smash someone's face in with it."
And this week's episode is definitely a special occasion: election night.
The polls are closing, bodega sushi has been acquired, and not one but three touchscreens are ready to go.
But the Roys can't stop fighting over who should be president, and they might just have destroyed American democracy, and any integrity they had left, in the process.
We need to talk about Mencken becoming president
Hoo boy — let's unpack how we got here.
While Shiv backed Democratic candidate Daniel Jiménez, Roman was determined to see far-right Republican candidate Jeryd Mencken win the presidential election.
Why? Because Roman and Kendall want to screw over Matsson, and if Mencken were president he would block GoJo from acquiring Waystar.
But Shiv's double-crossing ways finally catch up to her when Kendall realises she's not on her brothers' side at all and hasn't been this whole time.
In fact, it was Greg who spilled the beans to Kendall, confirming Shiv's in cahoots with Matsson.
So Kendall, who was initially torn over crowning Mencken, sides with Roman, forcing Tom, the ATN chief, to call the election.
"This is crazy," Matsson announces, witnessing Mencken's victory speech. And you have to agree with the Swede.
We can't not talk about Shiv finally telling Tom she's pregnant
When you tell the father of your unborn child that you're pregnant, you don't want to hear: "Is that even true? Or is that like a new position, or tactic?"
But this is Succession, and this is Tom and Shiv, and there's no coming back from that fight the previous night, despite Shiv's best efforts to actually apologise.
But what drove Shiv to finally drop the bomb was the fact that Tom decided to kick her one more time, using her guilt to blame her for Logan's death — something she confided in him back in episode 4.
"It means you hated him, Siobhan. It was complicated, but sometimes you certainly hated him. And you also, sort of, killed him."
One would think the revelation of impending fatherhood might soften Tom, but he only becomes more cruel and proceeds to gaslight his wife in front of her brothers, calling her "unhinged".
I wish their baby well!
Let's chat power rankings
There's a new power player this week, and he's shot straight to the top of the ladder, taking one lucky Roy with him.
Mencken
Surprise, surprise. Hocus POTUS is the next president of the United States after launching his campaign in Virginia only six months earlier. Commentators called it an "unlikely impossibility, now a reality", and he finds the responsibility "awesome".
But it was always going to work out for Mencken after he lured Roman to his election headquarters to make sure any loss would be spun as a win in the press. Now let's just see if he holds his promise to block that GoJo deal.
Roman
"You. Me. We'll go far." It's the phrase Mencken kept repeating to Roman after wanting him, and not Kendall, to meet him in his office. He's hitched his wagon to what some would call a "fascist", and he seems chuffed with himself. Gerri isn't around anymore to pull him into line, so he's gone completely off-leash.
"We just made a night of good TV," is what he says, reclining in his chair, adding, "nothing changes". Logan famously called his kids "not serious people", but they just did something seismic.
Kendall
"He's a guy we can do business with," Kendall says, more to himself than anyone else as he watches Mencken's victory speech.
So much of Kendall's inner turmoil this episode came from his desire to be a better father to his kids. He knows what future he's plunged them into, but it's all about his ego, that GoJo deal, and blocking Matsson.
But he can't be enjoying the fact that Roman is Mencken's preferred CEO.
Greg
Is this Greg's first big betrayal? If he were a scout, Greg would have earned his backstabbing badge this week thanks to the way he knifed Shiv. He is truly becoming comfortable in his corrupt ways by networking with Matsson (who called him "a normalist") to find out about his alliance with Shiv, only to give that bottle of information to Kendall to smash in his sister's face.
He also stood up to Tom, saying he didn't go for coffee runs anymore. But he was still bullied into snorting a line of cocaine, so there are areas to improve upon.
But the biggest reason for Greg's high ranking this week is the fact that a lot of people in the room are still underestimating him. Oh, but can someone please check on Darwin's eye?
Connor
Well, it's over. Connor Roy, who has been interested in politics from a very young age, lost the election after spending $100 million on his campaign.
But he shan't bad mouth Kentucky! He regrets not taking up a cushy ambassadorship and that he'll never be "our fun guy in Uruguay", but he gave an iconic concession speech: "I happen to be a billionaire. Sorry. But honestly America, you flunked it. I say Con-heads, I salute you. And America, be afraid. Be warned, for the Con-heads are coming."
Matsson
Connor was right when he said elections are more exciting when you're in them. Matsson was stuck at home this week having an election party while watching America burn to the ground. Despite controlling Shiv like a puppet, neither of them were a match for Roman and Mencken. If the new president keeps his word, Matsson is screwed — but he never stays down for long.
Tom
There are a lot of very important people who want to scream at Tom Wambsgans right now. He's staring down the barrel of being unemployed while suffering through a lengthy legal process thanks to those premature projections.
He's placed above Shiv this week only because he had the power to go against her and side with her brothers who run Waystar. But at least he has good arches. They've been remarked upon.
Shiv
The misogyny was rife this week! Waystar is truly a man's world after Shiv watched terrible men (her brothers) tell another terrible man (her husband) to call the election for an even more terrible man (Mencken.)
If anyone in the room had a shred of a conscience this week, it was Shiv, and that only gets you so far in these halls. Despite her best intentions to girl-boss her way to the top, her fake phone call to Nate handed Mencken the win.
With her alliance with Matsson public knowledge, and Tom's rejection stinging badly, she has nothing to lose by going against every man in that room.
Notes and observations
- Series creator Jesse Armstrong wrote this episode, but how does the team get the politics so right? It turns out the show has multiple politics consultants, including Eric Schultz, who was a deputy press secretary during the Obama administration
- Is Jeryd Mencken based on a specific person? Justin Kirk told The Hollywood Reporter that while his character wasn't based on a "specific dude", he feels like he very well might be. "Succession often feels not necessarily a mirror, but like five minutes from now," he said
- And finally, justice for Kerry, who should have been an ATN election night anchor
