Good to learn Boris Johnson chaired a cabinet meeting on the cost of living crisis this morning, mere hours after last night’s lavish Conservative fundraiser in which someone paid £37,000 for a shooting weekend (benefit claimants to be given hi-vis jackets and a five-minute head start). Other lots included a £65,000 African safari (the same thing, only played out in a Kigali hotel), and £120,000 for dinner with Johnson, David Cameron and Theresa May – together. Of that latter Sartrean prize, one fundraiser attendee told Politico: “I suspect it’s the kind of thing CCHQ auctions off but never actually happens.” A lot like most government policies, then.
Johnson himself has been recovering from an operation on his nose yesterday morning, with speculative explanations ranging from the things people accuse you of when you’re the sort of guy who tells neverending lies to the things people accuse you of when you’re the sort of guy who tells neverending lies. Or to give those the headline they deserve: Geppetto’s Boy Spotted Talking About Himself For Nine Hours In Studio 54. Actual medical explanations range from sinus trouble to the plucky sinuses simply rejecting the rest of Johnson’s body, in a lone, hopelessly courageous protest that has now been brutally shut down by surgery. Their struggle should not be forgotten. For now, Johnson’s friends keep saying things like “He’s in King Kong mode”, which feels like a reality-bending thing to say about a guy who increasingly looks like a court artist’s drawing of the Honey Monster. Or maybe Darth Sidious with a brie addiction.
