Jayde Adams was on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour programme on Thursday 20 October, along with Strictly Come Dancing partner Karen Hauer. The pair were at dance rehearsals during the interview and reflected on their emotional performance last Saturday, in memory of Jayde's late sister.
The Bristolian comedian has been praised for opening up about heartache and grief following the death of her sister, Jenna, who died in 2011. Jayde said her decision to compete on Strictly was connected with her sister's memory, as the pair spent much of their younger years dancing together.
On Woman's Hour Jayde said she couldn't believe she was hearing her sister's name said aloud on the programme and expressed her emotions during her journeys. She also said on the radio show that she was "overwhelmed" by the heart-felt responses following the pair's routine Saturday night.
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Presenter of Woman's Hour, Krupa Padhy, spoke about important topical issues surrounding women's lives, which included how Jayde was able to cope after losing her sister, and how expressed her gratitude for the support from Karen, the Strictly team and her followers.
Talking on Woman's Hour, Jayde told Krupa: "The response to Saturday night was so overwhelming. I have heard that people have been calling bereavement centres and stuff and it went up around 121 per cent I was told on It Takes Two the other night.
"To hear that, as someone who has spent the last 11 years trying to make people feel better as a comedian, and also just generally, I was trying not to be emotional on It Takes Two, but tears came back to my face."
Krupa asked Karen what it has been like being by Jayde's side and how she has helped her hold it together throughout this process. Karen replied: "That's the beauty of this partnership is that we have each other's back and it's not just that thing, but it's the support we have for one another.
"This magnificent journey that we are on together. I was holding her hand and she didn't cry until she got to Claudia's area, but it was a beautiful moment and thank you for letting me choreograph that and telling that story."
Jayde added: "It's really difficult to know what to do when someone has lost someone and quite often people can say the wrong thing, and stop themselves from saying anything at all, which is definitely not the right option. People just don't understand, if you haven't experienced grief, then how do you know? What was amazing is Karen dealt with the whole situation with passion, empathy, understanding, patience and time.
"It meant sharing that story on Saturday night was one of the easiest things I have done. It wasn't hard because not only is Karen looking after me, but the entire Strictly model that everyone works on the show is just wonderful."
Presenter Krupa praised Jayde for her honesty when opening up about Jenna on Saturday. Responding, Jayde said: "My sister said to my mum 'do you think people will forget me' and my mum said to her 'not as long as I live' and both of us have spent the last 11 years, and my brother and my dad, keeping that promise and it has been incredible.
"She died at the age of 28, she didn't leave a legacy behind and the legacy left was in our memory and I think it is part of our grieving process to carry on talking about her because it is such a tragic age to lose anyone."
When asked how the creative arts, like comedy and dancing, has helped her with her loss, she said: "It's been the thing that saved my life over the last 11 years. I moved to London to be famous in 2010 and I met a load of Drag Queens, that's how I got into comedy, I tried to get into stand-up but it's not the friendliest thing to get into.
"I did my first gig on 17 March and that was the first thing I ever hosted. I had only really been in London doing that stuff for a tiny amount of time even though I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. I knew that I wanted to do it, I knew I was able to make people laugh in really dark times because Jenna asked me to make everyone laugh when she got diagnosed in 2005.
"I went into the hospital when she was sat there really worried, and my family were really sad and they went off with the doctor. She grabbed my hand, and she said 'can you start making everyone laugh because they are all looking at me like I'm about to die and I can't handle it.'
Jayde explained: "So that's basically how I did it. I only just started and there could have been this idea that I could not do it anymore because I was too sad but actually it was the thing that helped me the most. It was all those distractions in the first three years that really helped me and I remember I had a friend at the time, I was really low, and she said just fill your diary up, do anything, just keep going,"
She added: "At the beginning stages of grief, the worst bit about it is how weird it is that they are not around anymore and there is this hole inside of you and nothing but time heals the hole- that was the best advice I got at that time.
"In 2016, I wrote a show about Jenna and me and I got nominated for best newcomer at the end of a Fringe festival and it really helped me because everyone had their own story about my sister. Whether it was my parents, or her friends they all had their own reason and no one thought about mine and no one really listened about how I felt.
"I lived in a bunk bed with her, I danced with her, we had the same friends, we holidayed together. I knew every single inch of her body and for the first time in 2016 I was able to have an audience for one hour to listen to my story about her and as long as I put jokes at the end of sentences they would stay for the whole hour and it was the best thing I ever did for my grief."
Something that has not gone unnoticed since Jayde started Strictly is her passion to share body positivity despite the hateful comments. She expressed how she wants to show resilience and said on Woman's Hour that she "knew it was going to come up" when she joined the show.
Jayde said: "I have been watching Strictly Come Dancing for all these years and I know one thing that always gets mentioned when there is any woman, whether that's Karen or someone who looks like me. The women get an absolute blasting on the internet from people and I knew it was going to definitely happens to me.
"It's when people have been given the wrong information about how to treat other people by someone in their life- that's the only way people are ever like that. I just knew it was going to happen and I was like I could do one of two things. I could either ignore it- which everyone tells me to do- or I can actually tackle it and show people who follow me or my journey, feel like me, relate to me about resilience- and actually find it funny.
"I don't really want people to be saying stuff like that, but If I just find it funny. These people want to have any reaction with anyone anywhere and that's how they do it. I think the most useful thing to do is not get at them in any way, it's actually to show resilience to this stuff because it's never going to stop."
You can listen to Jayde and Karen on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour via the BBC website.
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