Thank you and a glittery goodnight
Lovely to have Strictly properly back, isn’t it? The Great Unpleasantness is already partly forgotten.
We’ll be back here for the first elimination weekend, which kicks off at the earlier time of 6.15pm next Saturday. I hope you’ll rejoin me then. In the meantime, I’m @michaelhogan on Twitter, so do waltz on over and give me a camp wave.
Thanks for watching along with me and your excellent contributions as always. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, sofa sparklies. And you know the drill: keeeeeep dancing! Ta-ra for now.
Our Canadian correspondent writes
An email just in from regular reader in Montreal, Iain Crofts: “Loved your Strictly blog last year and delighted to find it again. Enjoying reading your live comments in anticipation of the clips that the BBC lets us unwashed foreigners watch after the event.
Not being able to watch the show live, I don’t know if anything in Shirley’s demeanour prompted your question, ‘Hands up if you thought she was going to mention The Great Unpleasantness for a minute there’, but my money is on it gong resolutely unmentioned throughout the series.
Losing one Italian pro could be an accident. Two could seem like carelessness. To avoid escalation, should the BBC appoint an Italophobia Czar to make sure nothing happens to Vito?”
Muilleach sympathises with Dave Arch’s lot: “The poor band! Firestarter and Vindaloo on the same night. Heroic stuff.” Like a mid-90s student night, wasn’t it?
Whistledownthewind says: “Well that was fun, despite being so long that we have moved into a new geological age. I shall name it the GoComparic Age.”
Rufusonly concludes: “Goodnight all. After all the unnecessary and ridiculous negativity in the close season, we’re back to our Saturday night treat. It’s amazing how quickly we all get into the swing of things.”
Montell Douglas and Wynne Evans also proved a hit with commenters. Gardener_Maidhc says: “Love a foxtrot, love Johannes, love Montell’s dress. Proper music! Proper dancing! This is soo lovely! Team MoJo for the win.”
Fihema says: “That was so good! Jojo and Montell looking like December dancers to me. With Sarah and Vito and someone else. Oh yes, TashAljaz.”
Toesturnedin says: “I’m glad this chap Wynne is on towards the end. Gives us plenty to compare!!! Haha, did you see what I did there?” We did, TTI.
Rufusonly adds: “Katya has clearly worked on the basics with Wynne and it shows. His waistline will disappear like coal from the valleys if he keeps this up. Lovely guy and a perfect antidote to the nastiness that led up to it. Two fabulous characters.”
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On Chris McCausland, Paperview says: “That was great. Dianne showed him no mercy. She didn’t dance around him and try to hide his problems. She gave him proper choreography to dance - and he was great at it. I want to see more of him. He and Diane are doing something special.”
Pancake01 adds: “Oh my god. I am crying here. I have no idea how he did it. Well done ,Dianne and Chris. Something about humanity and humour and dance and loveliness and too much rioja.”
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Paul Merson provided a major talking point. emilyscatnaps says: “He’s the very definition of ‘what the eff have I agreed to?’ regret mixed with ‘absolutely couldn’t give a single eff about this nonsense but it might pay a tax bill’. I am here for that kind of attitude.”
Lidoswimmer says: “As a Spurs fan, I should have views about Paul Merson - and he was a bit of a one as a player - but he’s been brave enough to be vulnerable and talk about his struggles publicly in a way I’m sure reaches a few men other messages might not. So I’ve a soft spot for him. He’s no dancer, though, bless him.”
Owbeck adds: “I’ve seen worse week ones than Paul. Remember the Widdy year?” I do indeed, Owbeck. Shudder.
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The superbly named RegWhelk says: “Two points less and Toyah would have got the first ten of the series.”
Pancake01 adds: “Oooh not what I was expecting from Tom Dean. Much better. He is obviously competitive, works hard and has the athletic ability to succeed. Nice chemistry between them as well. And wardrobe LOVES them.”
Judges-wise, MikeMoonlight says: “Ah, the first mention of Shirley’s ‘fundamentals’. Are we taking bets on whether she’ll unleash her “feminine sensing zones” on the Great British public this year?...
JohneyRuscombe adds: “Clearly, Craig’s comments about Chris were leading to a ‘but’ and then something complimentary. Sadly and rudely. he’s never allowed to finish his comments by Motsi and Shirley.”
Yes, that bugged me tonight too, JR. Happened two or three times. RUDE.
Readers’ verdicts
Time for a snappy vox pop of your wise words from the comments section. On our presenting pair, Pancake01 says “Claudia is dressed as Margo Leadbetter at the beige buffet”
eiwrite says: “Claud is off to the pit of Sarlac and Tess is off to don one of those furry hats and guard Buckingham Palace.”
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Film-wise, just starting are historical romp The Last Duel on Channel 4 or Star Trek Beyond on Sky Showcase. At 10pm on BBC4, there’s a Pedro Almodóvar double bill. At 10.35pm, Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life is on ITV4. At 11.45pm, the excellent Northern Soul is on BBC2.
New drama or music doc, anyone?
TV viewers can now stay on BBC1 for Apples Never Fall, another rich-people-in-peril drama from Big Little Lies author Liane Moriarty or flip to BBC2 for music-and-money documentary The Battle for Black Music: Paid in Full.
It’s the Golden Glitterballs!
Yes, they’re back. At the end of each live show, we traditionally dish out some imaginary gongs to the most (and least) deserving. Let me know if you agree with my choices. Drum roll please… *awkward pause while I fumble with a gold lamé envelope*…
Best dance: JB Gill’s waltz topped the scores but for me, it was a cha cha dead heat between Tasha Ghouri and Chris McCausland.
Worst dance: Other times, the leaderboard doesn’t lie. Sorry, Toyah Willcox and your bizarro tango.
Best music choice: The divas: Dinah Washington, Dolly Parton, Kylie.
Worst music choice: That Benson Boone racket to Jamie’s Viennese. Even worse than Vindaloo.
Best outfit: Nadiya Bychkova’s gold frock or Sarah Hadland’s quickstep separates. (Quicksteparates?)
Worst outfit: Either Paul Merson’s cruise ship slacks or Nick Knowles’ hi-vis vest with mirrorball trim and Bacofoil shirt.
Best judges’ comment: Craig’s “slay, slay, slay!” to Tasha and Anton’s magic sponge comment to Paul Merson. Definitely not his various grunts, groans and wibblings about social media.
Worst VT: “Annoyah” boasting.
Best Claudia quip: Loved her bantz with Paul Merson and baffled face whenever Vito launches into one of his adorable rambles.
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Supremes quiz answer
Remember that? Did you manage to name the five consecutive Supreme singles to top the charts? They were: Where Did Our Love Go, Baby Love, Come See About Me, Stop! In the Name of Love and Back in My Arms Again. What a hot streak.
This year’s first leaderboard
JB Gill sits atop this year’s first scoreboard, with Sarah Hadland and Tasha Ghouri in joint second. Toyah Willcox is way down at the bottom, cut five points adrift of Paul Merson and Pete Wicks.
As we know, scores will be carried over to next week, combined with their second dance and the viewer vote, then the bottom two couples will dance-off for survival. It’s still all to foxtrot for.
“Keeeeeep dancing,” chorus Tess and Claud for the first time this year. Reassuring. As scores get carried forward to next week and the rhinestone-spangled curtain comes down, please stay with us for analysis, reaction and a round-up of your comments.
Phew. After a social media-style reaction video to the opening titles – which went on almost as long as the show – the credits roll. Nick Knowles in a hi-vis tabard feels like a very long time ago.
Judges’ scores for Wynne and Katya: 6, 6, 7, 7 for a total of 26 points. Joint fourth. “Go on, Gwynne!” says Paul Merson from the cheap seats. That was the last dance. We did it, gang! Is it Christmas yet?
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Judges’ comments for Wynne and Katya: Anton says “joyous, thank you very much”. Craig says “it put a smile on my face and will now pass onto Motsi, keeping it light and bright”. Motsi says “counting and singing but you didn’t miss a beat, highly entertaining”. Shirley concludes “spectacular musicality, you’re going to be great”.
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Wynne and Katya’s samba
Is he going to dance to Welsh songs every week? I look forward to Super Furry Animals week. Wynne revealed last week that he once met Sir Tom in a urinal. Well, it’s not unusual. Comedy chef-at-a-buffet theme for some unfathomable reason. With its fast footwork, fluid hips and demanding rhythm, the samba has historically posed a significant challenge for male contestants. You can see why. He’s giving it a good go, highly entertaining but it’s bit static and dad dancey. You’ll find more Latin flavour in a grab-bag of Doritos.
Song: Help Yourself by Tom Jones. Also recorded, of course, by Steve Coogan in character as sexist Portuguese crooner Tony Ferrino.
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Judges’ comments for Montell and Jojo: Shirley says “West End style, hit all the accents, partnership made in heaven, just work on your footwork”. Anton says “exceptional out of hold, so much to like, well done”. Craig says “you’ve taught her to dance just like you, Jojo”. Motsi concludes “I can’t wait to see what you’ve got to offer”.
Judges’ scores for Montell and Jojo: 6, 7, 6, 7 for a total of 26 points. Third on the leaderboard.
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Montell and Jojo’s foxtrot
Penultimate dance now. Big last push. The Gladiator looked ready to rumble in last week’s launch show. Now Team MoJo go on our first whistle and tackle an elegant foxtrot. I thought she might start with something Latin, so this is a pleasant surprise. Jazzy styling and fabulous performance levels. Gliding gracefully across the floor. Dazzling smiles, lovely posture, and topline. Old-style glamour, big band vibes, high-kicking fun.
Song: Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby? by Dinah Washington. The 1940s jazz standard has been recorded by more than 130 different artists over the years - including Tom from Tom & Jerry, cartoon cat fans.
Judges’ scores for Chris and Dianne: 4, 6, 6, 7 for a mid-table total of 23 points. Chris says Di kicked him in the head during training and jokes that she’s “sucked all the fun out of dancing and replaced it with Terms & Conditions”.
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Judges’ comments for Chris and Dianne: Craig says “shoulders up, neck lurching forward and not a straight leg in the building ”. He gets interrupted by his colleagues again. Motsi says “Cuban breaks, energy, gave it everything, you brought the joy”. Shirley says “great listening skills, I’m shocked and emotional, fabulous”. Anton concludes “one of the most extraordinary things I’ve seen in my entire life, just brilliant”. Chris tells Craig “he’s too knackered to care, mate, give me whatever score what you want”. I think sixes and sevens might come but it’s impossible to predict.
Chris and Dianne’s cha cha cha
I’m slightly surprised the blind comedian isn’t in ballroom hold for his first dance but commend his bravery. The cha cha can be quite exposing with lots of solo stuff but he’s gamely giving it a good go. His 10-year-old daughter told Chris to keep his mouth closed but he doesn’t seem to have got the memo. Novelty “guitar leg” trick, knee slide and heaps of 60-style fun. Lift to finish. That was great. Huge ovation in the studio.
Song: Twist and Shout by The Beatles. The rock ’n’ roll classic covered by the Fab Four in 1964 - and later lip-synced by Ferris Bueller on his day off.
Judges’ scores for Jamie and Michelle: 6, 6, 5, 6 for a total of 23 points. Mid-table. Get outta my pub.
Judges’ comments for Jamie and Michelle: Motsi says “great opening but feet not closing and it went a bit wrong, work on the technique”. Shirley says “disappointed, struggled to find your footwork, you have promise but go and work on your fundamentals”. Anton does a demo time and says “bend your elbow and soften your topline and you’ll be terrific”. Craig concludes “jagged, needs fluidity but wonderful performance”.
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Jamie and Michelle’s Viennese waltz
The EastEnders actor won the Christmas special with a quickstep. Now he’s back in hold for a romantic Viennese. Song feels too rocky for the romantic opening but better once in hold. Spinning and twirling around the floor nicely. Lacks a little flow, too stop-start and a little hesitant moment right int front of the judges. Oops.
Song: Beautiful Things by Benson Boone. This pop-rock ballad by the American Idol alumnus went viral on TikTok - a phrase which never fails to make me feel old - and topped the charts earlier his year.
Judges’ scores for Paul and Karen: 2, 4, 5, 6 for a total of 17 points. A four-point spread there. Second bottom. Paul says Karen is the Pep Guardiola of dance coaches. High praise indeed. Skinny knits and shaven head not included (yet). Wynne says it’s a miracle that she taught him anything because Paul still thinks his name is Gwynne.
Judges’ comments for Paul and Karen: Craig says “Fred and Ginger it wasn’t, pigeon-toed and flat footed”. Shirley goes ahead of Motsi says “entertaining and coordinated, nice lifts, couldn’t recognise it as an American smooth”. Motsi says “this was special and different, it was something”. Anton concludes “Karen, you’re a genius, magnificent number, got through it unscathed, what more do you want?”.
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Paul and Karen’s American smooth
Can the bookies’ tip to be first out defy the odds? It’s an uneasy combo of song and dance, let’s say. They’re going all out with the football theme. Lifts decent and solo sections but too much strolling around, lacking clean footwork and Hollywood glamour. Poor posture. A rogue football almost trips them up. Streamers fall. That was like something from a child’s birthday party. Not very American, even less smooth.
Song: Vindaloo by Fat Les. Not your regular Strictly tune, let’s say. This football chant parody was co-written by Blur’s Alex James and actor Keith Allen for the 1998 World Cup. The idea was hatched in the Groucho Club, naturally. Its video saw Paul “Denis Pennis” Kaye swaggering down a street in a spoof of The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony video – as referenced in the pre-dance VT.
Judges’ comments for Punam and Gorka: Shirley says “personality and energy, great rotary base but keep working on your feet and standing leg”. Anton says “all good, just needs more drive”. Craig says “shoulders up, knees bent but you put all of you into it”. Motsi concludes “step into it and say ‘Punam is here to stay’”.
Judges’ scores for Punam and Gorka: 4, 5, 5, 5 for a total of 19 points. Fourth lowest so far.
Punam and Gorka’s cha cha cha
Is there a doctor in the house? Yes but you’ll have to wait in reception while she does a cheeky Cuban cha cha. Crowd-pleasing tune. Too much messin’ abaht with a coat and headphiones to start. Fast, fun and flirty, lots of hip wiggling but is she nailing the tricky leg action? Gorka’s trying to distract us with his six-pack. Great attitude and party sprit, though.
Song: Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue. The 2002 nu-disco banger got to number two in the UK chart and was Grammy-nominated. She should be so lucky.
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Judges’ comments for Tom and Nadiya: 5, 6, 6, 6 for a total of 23 points. Mid-table. They’re calling themselves Team Golden. Posture innit.
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Judges’ comments for Tom and Nadiya: Motsi says “hard work has paid off, great partnering but lacked staccato and posture too far forward”. Shirley busts out a demo time with Motsi says “legs too straight, get down in the knees but great potential”. Anton says “musicality and timing super, sort your posture out and everything else will slot into place”. Craig concludes “posture, posture, posture but I liked it”. In summary: posture.
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Tom and Nadiya’s tango
Gold medallist, Golden song. See what they did there? We’re past the midway mark now and the Olympic swimmer is in at the deep end with a tango. Strapping Tom Dean doesn’t look terribly comfortable on dry land but decent sexiness and intensity. A little too upright and lacking snap. He’s not a performer yet, bless him, but nailed the routine pretty well.
Song: Golden by Harry Styles. The 2020 indie-tinged soft-rock hit might have had a video shot on the Amalfi Coast but it was recorded in dear old Bath.
Judges’ scores for Sarah and Vito: 8, 8, 7, 7 for a total of 30 points. Joint second. The highest scoring week one quickstep ever.
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Judges’ comments for Sarah and Vito: Anton says “super-good, just needs more line”. Craig says “one word, fan-tas-tic, darling”. Motsi says “boom, what a year it’s going to be”. Shirley concludes “frame, footwork, love this pairing”. They’re clearly running behind because those comments were in bullet points. Sevens and eights?.
Sarah and Vito’s quickstep
Vito Coppola won Celebrity MasterChef last night with his spectacular Italian food, so currently holds two TV trophies. He’s celebrating by taking Sarah Hadland for a spin around the ballroom and dubbing them Team Tiramisu. Random joke shop theming but once they get going, it’s smooth, elegant and smiley. Beautifully light on her feet as they skip around the floor. She looks a little off-balance in places but high kicks, great Charleston side-by-side bits and immensely cheering.
Song: 9 To 5 by Dolly Parton. The Oscar-nominated 1980 disco classic, not to be confused with Sheena Easton’s hit of the same title.
Judges’ scores for Pete and Jowita: 4, 5, 3, 5 for a total of 17 points. Second from bottom so far.
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Judges’ comments for Pete and Jowita: Shirley says “Paso Pete, I’m lost for words, too repetitive and only had one move, footwork not there”. Anton says “it made me nervous, your timing got me on edge, make the music your friend but quite liked the drama”. Craig says “loose arms, like a leisurely stroll through the Port Talbot steelworks but liked the determination and storytelling”. Motsi concludes “lacks technique but it captured me, a fiery, modern interpretation”.
Pete and Jowita’s paso doble
“Petita” get the first paso of the series, set to Pete Wicks’ fellow Essex boys The Prodigy. The only way is the bullfight, just outside Basildon. Leather-clad Pete descends on an industrial winch-type thing. He’s got the smouldering intensity but not the Spanish line. It’s like a Hell’s Angel’s wedding dance. Too much walking around, not enough matador striding, but bags of swagger and attitude.
Song: Breathe by The Prodigy. The 1996 follow-up to Firestarter features a Thin Lizzy drum-break and a Wu Tang Clan sword whiplash effect, sample fans.
Judges’ scores for JB and Amy: 7, 8, 8, 8 for a total of 31 points. Top but was it really better than Tasha? Hmm.
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Judges’ comments for JB and Amy: Craig says “hands ugly out of hold, lacked swing and sway”. Motsi says “save it for later in the contest, Craig, so good to see you dancing again, Amy”. Shirley says “back where you belong, Amy, choreography outstanding, ticked lots of boxes, you’re a diamond, sir, an epic partnership”. Anton concludes “wonderful footwork and frame, don’t stop, loved it”. Sixes and sevens? Craig won’t enjoy being interrupted, mind you.
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JB and Amy’s waltz
After recovering from her cancer treatment, the popular Welsh pro made a triumphant comeback to the ballroom in last week’s launch show. Now she relishes a slow, smooth, classic waltz. Not sure the JLS concert crowd she excitedly announced it to were that bothered, to be honest, but hey. Dreamy romantic start. Close hold, rise and fall. Footwork falters at times and lacks glide but sweet and elegant.
Song: When I Need You by Leo Sayer. The mop-topped singer performed this 1977 chart-topper on The Muppet Show. It was later covered by Rod, Julio, Celine and Cliff. You can fill in the surnames, right?
Judges’ scores for Tasha and Aljaz: 8, 8, 7, 7 for a total of 30 points. Top so far by some distance.
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Judges’ comments for Tasha and Aljaz: Motsi says “what a way to introduce yourself, girl, great action in your body, you’ve started high”. Shirley says “a Cuban good time but plant your feet and you’ll have one of the most spectacular leg actions we’ve ever had”. Anton says “marvellous, get your weight forward, otherwise brilliant”. Craig concludes “Aljaz, welcome back, darling, slay, slay, slay”. Sixes and sevens incoming?
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Tasha and Aljaž’s cha cha cha
Strictly’s second ever deaf contestant has dance pedigree and looked hugely promising during last week’s curtain-raising group number. Sweet VT with Aljaz making her feel comfortable. Scandal? What scandal? A fast, fun dance to welcome back returning pro Aljaž Škorjanec. Messin’ abaht with a giant coffee cup to start, then into a flirty, cheeky cha cha with plenty of Cuban flavour. This looks more like a week five dance than a week one effort. Seriously impressive.
Song: Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. A smash synth-pop hit this spring after it was launched at Coachella festival. Try not to get annoyed by the grammatically incorrect recurring line “That’s that me espresso”. Grrr.
Judges comments for Toyah and Neil: Craig says “lack aggression, prancing around like a springbok, lost timing and connection, lots wrong with it”. Motsi says “you were pushing it, feet nowhere near the floor”. Shirley agrees with Craig for once, who comes over and kisses her. She says “spirited but poor Neil looked like he was going for a walk in the park with you, calm it down and direct it”. Anton concludes “your feet were doing their own thing”. Toyah agrees and admits it was terrifying.
Judges scores: 2, 4, 2, 4 for a total of 12 points. Bottom so far.
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Toyah and Neil’s tango
A tango could be technically tricky in week one but Toyah’s game for it. Indeed, she says training with Strictly pros has “made me feel premenopausal again”. Steady on, babes. Close hold and passionate mood. Not compact enough and lacks staccato action. She’s throwing her head around rather than snapping it. Missing some bite but strong performance.
Song: Ray Of Light by Madonna. The Queen of Pop’s 1998 techno-pop classic, produced by Britain’s own William “Bassomatic” Orbit.
Judges’ scores for Shayne and Nancy: 4, 6, 5, 6 for a total of 21 points.
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Judges’ comments for Shayne and Nancy: Motsi says “lacked detail but loved the disco vibe”. Shirley says “chemistry, swagger, freedom in the solo sections but need better posture in hold”. Anton says “really enjoyed your energy and output”. Craig concludes “failed miserably as a samba, more like a salsa, wonderful hips but lacked technique”. Fives ahoy?
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Shayne and Nancy’s samba
“Shancy” are a promising pairing and they’re bringing the Brazilian party. The samba is notoriously tricky for celebrity males but this is rhythmical and fluid, if perhaps lacking in bounce action. Flashdance disco styling. What it lacks in Latin flavour it makes up for with confidence, chemistry and performance value. That had the X factor, if you will.
Song: Do I Do by Stevie Wonder. The 1980 original was 10 minutes long, featuring a rare Stevie rap and a Dizzy Gillespie trumpet solo. Both were edited out for the single release.
Judges’ scores for Sam and Nikita: 6, 6, 6, 5 for a total of 23 points. Rare for Craig to outscore Anton.
Judges’ comments for Sam and Nikita: Anton says “our first ballroom dance and my favourite, immaculate arm line”. Craig says “lost a bit of balance and not using your feet as well as you could, a little lumpy but lots of chemistry”. Motsi says “you shone, love your spine and posture, lots of potential”. Shirley concludes “radiated beauty, lovely heel turn for week one, a force to be reckoned with”. Sixes, do we reckon?
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Sam and Nikita’s foxtrot
Our two sportswomen are both tackling the foxtrot, funnily enough - Montell Douglas and Sam Quek. Former hockey heroine Sam might have been nervous but she’s bringing the Hollywood glamour. Rather random 1960s office theme but nice posture, heel leads and some glide. The odd bit of gapping but for week one, pretty respectable.
Song: Where Did Our Love Go? by The Supremes. The 1964 Motown classic was the first of five Supremes songs in a row to reach number one. Gold star if you can name the others. I’ll tell you after the show finishes.
Happy birthday to Nick. A chorus and some cake in the face from Carlos, what more could a 62-year-old want?
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Judges’ comments: Shirley says “get your toes turned out and you’re ready to go, sir”. Anton says “uplifting and joyous to watch, plenty to work on but I’m delighted for you”. Craig says “uplifting like a rolled steel joist, darling, heavy, flat-footed and pigeon-toed”. Motsi concludes “be proud of yourself, you look young, agile and ready to go”.
Judges’ scores: 3 (boo!), 5, 5, 5 for a total of 18 points. Nick will take that.
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Nick and Luba’s jive
First full routine of the series and straight in with a building-related song for the DIY SOS host. A demanding dance first up, not least for a 61-year-old in hi-vis. Flicks and kicks, twists and turns but lacks bounce, sharpness and energy. Long-suffering Luba has done a decent job but understandably, his energy flags towards the end.
Song: We Built This City by Starship. The 1985 chart-topper was co-written by Bernie Taupin about the decline of live music venues in LA. It was in Rolling Stone magazine’s Top Ten Worst Songs of the 80s and named the worst song of all-time by GQ, which called it “the most detested song in human history”. Quite an accolade.
Head judge Shirley Ballas declares that the 2024 contest has officially begun. Is that new? I think it is. Hands up if you thought she was going to mention The Great Unpleasantness for a minute there.
Our Strictly stars™
Alan “Deadly” Dedicoat, voice of the lottery balls (and that all-important bonus ball/Thunderball/whatever it is nowadays), announces our couples for the first time this year.
They emerge onto the fabled Strictly stairs. Paul Merson is dressed as a PE teacher, Wynne Evans as a chef and Nick Knowles as Bob The Builder. Nancy Xu has borrowed Brian May’s hair.
Judges make their entrance
Donning their judgey smugglers are Craig Revel Horwood, Motsi Mabuse, Anton Du Beke and Shirley Ballas. Spins, cheesy grins and co-ordinated sit-downs all round.
Frockwatch
Here come our presenting pair, so time to compare their finery. Tess Daly in a red jumpsuit. Claudia Winkleman in a cream drapey thing that looks a little Princess Leia-like. A rare win for Tess.
Vito’s got his pecs out. That’s the second bare hairy chest we’ve had in the first five minutes. I might write to Points Of View.
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Fiery group number from the pros
We open with the professional troupe showing the terrified new celebrities how it’s done. Choreographed by Jason Gilkison, it’s titled Casa de Fuego (House Of Fire).
It’s a Latin number with Spanish using flamenco, cha cha, paso doble and salsa moves. Glitterball pro champs from the last two years, Jowita Przystał and Vito Coppola, play the leads. It’s set to El Pañuelo and Despechá by Rosalía and SloMo by Chanel.
Our first look at the new-look title sequence. Cheesy grins and novelty dance moves all round. Hair-toss from Pete Wicks. Bottom bounce from Paul Merson. What no running man?
A shirtless Nick Knowles getting a spray tan there. Don’t have nightmares/enjoy the view (delete according to Knowles preferences)/
And we’re off!
First scene-setting, tension-building montage of the series. Welcome back.
Top up your drinks and take your sparkly sofa seats. We’re about to go live to Elstree Studios for the first time this year…
Beat-the-intro gameshow The Hit List just winding up on BBC One now. Co-host Marvin Humes will effectively swap out for his old JLS bandmate JB Gill. Everybody in love, put your hands up.
Just five minutes until that ba-ba-da theme tune…
Buckle up, ballroom watchers. Running time tonight is an epic 145 minutes - which is even longer than last year’s inaugural live show. I hope you had a disco nap this afternoon. It’s 10 minutes until choreographic kick-off…
Top tips for an early exit
Poor old Paul Merson is bookies’ favourite for first elimination. Just behind is Nick Knowles, with Dr Punam Krishan and Wynne Evans tied in third place.
Sounds about right to me, but don’t rule out Toyah Willcox either. Just 15 minutes until the glittery curtain comes up…
Let’s play week 1 bingo
Here’s your traditional spotter’s guide to on-screen happenings each week. Tick them off when you spot them! Take a drink for each! Wake up fully clothed! Bring on tonight’s 10 predictions:
A Chris McCausland gag makes Claudia bark with laughter but confuses Tess
Male celebrity on the new opening titles does finger guns
Shirley Ballas thanks the first couple to perform for “opening our show”
Benched pro Carlos Gu hogs the camera up on the Clauditorium
Anton pronounces the Brazilian carnival dance as the “saaarm-ba”
Celebrity mentions Epsom salts/ice baths/deep tissue massage
Craig’s first negative comment of the series gets booed, so he tells the studio audience to shuddup
Everyone sings along to Vindaloo but only knows the “na-na-naaa” bit
Toyah Willcox namedrops an A-list celebrity with whom she’s great showbiz pals
Tess exclaims “look at your little face!” after a youngish celebrity dances
On your dance cards
Tonight’s 15 numbers include three cha cha chas, two foxtrots, two tangos and two sambas. Overall we’ll see 10 different dance styles. A good, eclectic mix. It’s not long now until showtime…
No elimination this weekend
A quick reminder of the deal tonight. The couples will be critiqued and marked by the judging panel for the first time but there’s no public vote yet. Instead the judges’ scores will be carried over to next week, when us viewers can vote for our favourites for the first time. It will all be combined and the bottom two are consigned to the dreaded dance-off.
So our plucky pro-celeb pairs get two chances to impress before anyone is cruelly canned. Any predictions on who it might be? *cough* Paul Merson *splutter*
Strictly 2024 goes live!
First night nerves, anyone? The glitterball is about to start spinning as our couples hit the floor for their first full routines. Gulp.
Good evening all and welcome to the first live show of Strictly Come Dancing 2024. I’m Michael, your liveblogging dance partner. I hope you’ll watch along with me as this year’s sequin-spangled action kicks off in earnest.
After last week’s pre-recorded launch show, tonight our 15 newly formed pro-celebrity pairings take to the Elstree Studios ballroom for their first proper dances together. They’ve been toiling away in the training rooms all week, grumbling about their sore feet, marvelling at their sweat patches and trying not to let the all-new chaperones spoil the chemistry. Now we get to see the fruits of their twinkle-toed labours.
It’s showtime at 7pm on BBC One. I’ll be liveblogging from 6.30pm, providing build-up, rolling coverage, analysis, reaction and catty asides. So don flesh-coloured Spanx, slather on some fake tan and see you on the sofa.
I’d love to hear from you too. You can tweet me @michaelhogan, email me michael.hogan.freelance@guardian.co.uk and the comments section below is back open for ballroom business. I’ll shimmy down every now and again to gauge your reaction to the show, so please share your thoughts.
Drinks, nibbles and second screens to hand? I hope so. Nearly time to, yep, staaaaaart dancing!
