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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

Strangers mock my moves. How can I regain confidence on the dancefloor?

‘Once physical fun and looseness stops feeling silly or impossible, then you could think about what might make it fun to do with other people or with the lights on.’ Painting: The Minuet by Leopold Schmutzler.
‘Once physical fun and looseness stops feeling silly or impossible, then you could think about what might make it fun to do with other people or with the lights on.’ Painting: The Minuet by Leopold Schmutzler. Illustration: mauritius images GmbH/Alamy

I am in my early 30s and happily married with two young children. I have never been an amazing dancer. It has always been painfully awkward. I feel mortified whenever there’s a requirement to dance, even if it’s as silly as when the grownups join in during a kid’s party! I’ve had strangers offer well-intentioned help; people try to teach me to dance while on the dancefloor (clearly they decided I needed help). I’ve had a friend comment that my dancing is “cute” and strangers mock my dancing by mimicking it in front of me.

When I was in my 20s, I made up for this in the only way I knew how – by drinking a lot and losing all inhibition. I loved letting go and just losing myself on the dancefloor, enjoying the music and not caring what people thought. I’m now at a stage in my life where I’ve got young kids, I work a million hours a week in an intense job and I like making the most of my weekends with my family, so getting extremely drunk to enjoy a night of dancing isn’t an option. Even when the option has presented itself, I feel so saddled emotionally with responsibility and physically with my larger, squidgier mum body that I just avoid dancing altogether.

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