A victim of child sexual abuse has fought through tears to explain the meaning behind a drawing, which she did to illustrate the "haunting images" her assailant created in her mind.
"I have no mouth because you made me feel too scared to speak," the teenager told Thomas Lewyn Small while describing the artwork in the ACT Supreme Court on Monday.
The young woman spoke as Small, 29, faced a sentence hearing after pleading guilty to a charge of persistent sexual abuse of a child.
The court heard Small was aged between 21 and 23 during his offending, which spanned about two-and-a-half years.
His barrister, Steven Whybrow SC, told the court Small had admitted to two instances of digital penetration, "about eight" indecent acts that involved touching, and "very regular intimate kissing".
Prosecutor Sofia Janackovic said the victim was about 11 when the offending began.
From a remote witness room on Monday, the victim explained how the abuse had made her feel as if chains had been placed around her neck to choke and suffocate her.
"I'm still feeling trapped within the trauma," the woman, who is now 19, told the court.
The teenager said it was unfair she had not been able to experience intimacy at her own pace, describing how her childhood memories were dominated by "constant rage".
"I'm no longer able to feel or have happy thoughts," she said.
"Every day is painful."
The victim spoke of how Small had taken away the light inside her, replacing it with post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and depression.
"It's getting more and more unbearable," she said.
She also described wishing she could go back and tell her younger self, as depicted in her drawing, to "have a voice and speak up".
"It sickens me to know there is one thing that could have stopped it all, so why didn't you?" she asked Small.
The victim's mother also prepared a statement, which was tendered to the court but not read aloud.
In his submissions, Mr Whybrow said Small was "acutely aware" of the impact of his crime on the victim.
He argued his client was genuinely remorseful, noting the offender had apologised to the victim in February 2021 and seemingly "made her feel strong enough" to tell a teacher what had happened.
"It's not, 'I'm really sorry' after being caught," Mr Whybrow told the court, noting Small was not charged until May 2022.
The defence barrister accepted a jail sentence was warranted, but he argued it did not necessarily have to involve full-time imprisonment.
He said material before the court revealed Small had long-term mental health problems and issues with "significant drug use".
Mr Whybrow also argued Small's offending was at the lower end of seriousness for a crime of its type.
Ms Janackovic agreed it was not a "worst-case scenario" but disagreed it was at the lower end, urging Justice Verity McWilliam to impose a full-time prison term.
She argued the "in-built" leniency in a community-based penalty would not achieve several sentencing principles, including denunciation of Small's offending and deterrence of others.
The prosecutor told the court child sexual abuse irrevocably harmed victims, including the girl who, in this case, had been just 11 when the offending began.
"It's puberty," Ms Janackovic said.
"It's confusing at the best of times, let alone when there's an adult expressing a sexual interest in you."
Justice McWilliam ultimately adjourned the sentence hearing until September 15 in order to obtain more material, including an updated pre-sentence report.
