What music is Steve Borthwick listening to at the moment? Looking down England’s team sheet it could just be that Oasis are back on his playlist. “Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you’re my wonderwall.” Given the pace at which bad news is multiplying, though, the most appropriate soundtrack for English rugby is currently anything by Blur.
So much for settled squads, clarity and leisurely fine-tuning. Borthwick is the most organised of men but when it was put to him on Thursday that he must be on Plan K or L by now he did not dispute it. With his captain and only specialist No 8 both suspended, his most athletic winger now a non-starter, further injuries wrecking his back-three options and the faith of supporters fast dissolving, England’s road to next month’s World Cup buildup could hardly be more potholed.
Add in Borthwick’s continuing unhappiness with the “bewildering” disciplinary saga that saw Owen Farrell effectively go from a yellow card to red to yellow to red again over the space of 10 days and ye olde chariot is in potential danger of veering off the road entirely. Borthwick is not asking for sympathy but if his luck fails to change soon a seriously gloom-laden few weeks could await.
In his quieter moments, someone asked, did he ever feel like banging his head against the wood-panelled walls of Pennyhill Park, the team’s Surrey base? Even Borthwick, having named a needs-must side to play Fiji on Saturday, smiled ruefully at that one before stressing the importance of mental flexibility: “Understanding there are going to be certain times when there are going to be setbacks is part of the sport at this level.”
Every coach has a brilliant masterplan, in other words, until events swivel and punch them in the face. The crucial question is whether England can somehow adapt to all this turmoil, with Borthwick clinging to the flimsy straw that all this disruption is not unfolding at the actual tournament. “Every team is going to go through it,” he suggested. “If I could choose my time to go through it, it would probably be now rather than when we’re out in France.”
To some degree he has a point. And, if we are being honest, how many totally smooth English World Cup campaigns have there ever been? Even in the glory days of 2003, Richard Hill was unavailable for the first chunk of the competition, Will Greenwood had to fly home for personal reasons, England were fined £10,000 for having 16 men on the pitch against Samoa and had to make assorted scrum-half contingencies. In 2007 the team was all but written off before a dramatic resurrection. In 2011, in between the late-night antics and fishing big centres out of Auckland Harbour, there was occasionally some rugby. And so on.
This time, though, almost everything in English rugby seems to be an accelerating bushfire. Both captain Farrell and Billy Vunipola are suspended for the key opening pool game against Argentina, with the injured Anthony Watson and Jack van Poortvliet both now unavailable having been named in the original squad. While the management insist that Elliot Daly will be fit to face the Pumas, he is not the only squad member with a question mark hanging over him. Henry Arundell is supposed to be the great hope of the English game but has been suffering from back spasms and has managed just 57 minutes of rugby this month. There is even now talk of playing Marcus Smith at full-back, which might be feasible if he had ever started a game there before.
None of this greatly suggests a team about to compete strongly at a World Cup. One well-sourced rumour doing the rounds is that when Smith, training at No 15, made a slashing break out of his own 22 his head coach blew the whistle and made clear that big matches wouldn’t be won playing like that. True or not, it cannot be disputed that England’s attacking game currently lags behind many of their rivals. And if they possess the world-beating pack to make that irrelevant, they are doing a great job of disguising it.
On Saturday, at least, there is a chance for both Jack Willis and Ben Earl to take advantage of the absence of Tom Curry and Vunipola and prosper at the breakdown. Theo Dan is a lively young hooker and Courtney Lawes’s 100th cap for England should further galvanise the collective. Jonny May has never let England down and remains a hugely popular squad man if he does receive the call to replace Watson in the final World Cup 33.
If you are Argentina or even Fiji, though, you are scenting a real opportunity. Freddie Steward is great under the high ball but he is not particularly quick on the turn and might be better deployed, one day, at inside centre à la Jordie Barrett. Where is the backline X factor now located? And what happens should England collect a couple more injuries or, heaven help us all, another red card?
It makes this weekend – with a reduced attendance in prospect – as important as any of the squad’s warm-up fixtures. Borthwick suggests that, in the form of Richard Wigglesworth, Kevin Sinfield and his team manager Hill, he has people around him who are past masters at responding positively to adversity. If there is no obvious energetic rebound from the underwhelming Irish display, even so, it will not greatly matter who wears which numbered jersey. If there is one vintage Oasis album title that sums up England’s mood right now, it is Definitely Maybe.
