Stephen Fry has shared a defiant message with critics of his age-gap relationship with husband Elliott Spencer, who is 30 years his junior.
The Celebrity Traitors star faced the line of questioning on ITV series The Assembly, which has previously been called “the most groundbreaking show of the year”. The format sees a celebrity interviewee taking part in a wide-ranging group questioning where the people with the microphones all are autistic, neurodivergent or learning disabled.
The show returns for series two on Wednesday (8 April), where Fry, 68, fields questions from the assembly about his religious beliefs, former cocaine habit and mental health struggles.
In one part, the former QI host was asked about his “30-year age gap” with his 38-year-old husband, with the questioner explaining that she, too, was older than her girlfriend.
“What do you say to people who don’t like age-gap relationships?” she asked, to which Fry responded: “I feel a bit sorry for them. I don’t see why they should have such an opinion about things.”
“The only thing that should matter in a relationship is love and if you feel it,” Fry continued, clarifying that this should be “felt on both sides” and “not an exploitative relationship”.
“I mean, I always say to people that in our relationship, Elliot has all the power, really,” he said. “He makes a lot of the decisions about things because I trust him to. It just works for us, extremely well, and if people don’t like it, well, sod them.”
The legendary British actor, writer and presenter met comedian Spencer at a house party in 2012. They announced their engagement in 2015 and were married 10 days later.
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The pair have long kept their relationship private and are rarely photographed together, although Spencer shared a similarly strong response to those who criticise their relationship back in 2015.
“I don’t care what people think,” he said. “Stephen is the love of my life, the light of my life.”
Fry, meanwhile, has previously credited his younger husband for broadening his cultural horizons, saying in a 2025 podcast appearance: “He teaches me things I just didn’t know. He introduced me to Kendrick Lamar, which was a great thing to do because Kendrick Lamar, I’ve decided, is a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure.”
Elsewhere in the episode, Fry was asked an even more personal questions about his relationship, as he was questioned on which sexual position he favoured in intimate moments with his husband.
“Wow! That is direct as it gets,” Fry said, before saying that he was “going to leave that a mystery for people to guess”.
Speaking ahead of the show’s launch, Fry admitted that he’d been taken aback by “the rather eye-watering curiosity as to my sexual preferences”. “Not sexuality, you understand – that was understood – but my preferences within that sexuality framework… well, I wasn’t expecting that!” he said.
Fry is one of six stars to face the questioning firing line on this series of The Assembly, with Lenny Henry, Nicola Sturgeon, Anna Maxwell Martin and Aitch all appearing on the new series. The final celebrity will be revealed at a later date, with the first series featuring interviews with Michael Sheen, David Tennant, Jade Thirlwall and Danny Dyer.
The Assembly begins on Wednesday 8 April at 10.05pm on ITV1.
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