Stephen Fry has said his husband, Elliott Spencer, “holds all the power” in their relationship, as he addressed questions about their age gap during an appearance on ITV’s The Assembly.
The broadcaster, 68, was interviewed by a panel of neurodivergent and/or learning disabled contributors on the programme, where he spoke candidly about his marriage to Spencer, 38.
The couple married in 2015, just ten days after announcing their engagement.
Asked how he responds to criticism of age-gap relationships, Fry said: “I feel a bit sorry for them”.
“I don't see why they should have such an opinion about things, but the only thing that matters in a relationship is love.
“And, if you feel it, and it's felt on both sides, and it's not an exploitative relationship.”
The actor went on to describe the dynamic of his own marriage, adding: “I would say to people that in our relationship, Elliot has all the power, really. He makes a lot of the decisions about things, cos I trust him to. It just works for us extremely well.”
Fry, who came out in the late 1980s, has often spoken openly about his sexuality.
In 2024, he reflected on his teenage years, describing how being gay at the time felt like there was “a horror inside him”.
Elsewhere in the interview, the actor and presenter was visibly taken aback by a question about his sex life, responding with laughter as he declined to answer directly.
“Wow, that is as direct as it gets,” he shared. “I'm going to leave that a mystery, I think that's best. Thank you for raising it, it's a very important point. That was a great moment.”
Speaking ahead of the episode’s broadcast, Fry admitted the line of questioning had caught him off guard, joking that the experience was “worse than the Celebrity Traitors roundtable”.
Reflecting on the moment, he added: “I think the rather eye-watering curiosity as to my sexual preferences.”
“Not sexuality, you understand - that was understood - but my preferences within that sexuality framework... well, I wasn't expecting that! [I was] as embarrassed, awkward and uncoordinated as I always feel when dancing.”
The Assembly airs Wednesdays on ITV and ITVX
