Stephen Colbert went in on the rumors that Prince William had/is having an affair with royal friend Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley.
The Late Show host promised to "spill the tea, literally!" during the March 13 episode of his program.
"I'm afraid I've got some troubling news about England's Royal Family," he began.
"The kingdom has been all aflutter by the seeming disappearance of Kate Middleton. Well now, internet sleuths are guessing that Kate's absence may be related to her husband and the future King of England, William, having an affair."
Rumors of William and Rose having an affair have been coming out on and off since 2019, but have largely been dismissed because of a lack of supporting evidence (lack which by the way, very much still exists, in case you're now thinking that we have proof).
"So, I think we all know who the alleged other woman is," Colbert continued. "Say it with me: the Marchioness of Chul-mun-duh-lay! What a beautiful name that I'm being told right now that I pronounced incorrectly. It is in fact pronounced 'Chum-lee.' Counterpoint: No, it's not. Learn English, England." OK, first of all, LOL.
The talk show host went on to provide some context on the rumors circa 2019, calling Rose the "marching band of chicanery."
"According to tabloids, back then, when Kate supposedly confronted him about it, he laughed it off, saying there was nothing to it," he said. "Aha! Always a good response when your wife accuses you of cheating. 'Haha! Imagine me having an affair! It is to laugh! It reminds me of a jape: Knock knock, who's there? Oh, it's my illegitimate son. I've ~knocked up~ my mistress!'"
But Colbert wasn't done with the jokes.
"The Marcus Mumford of Chumbawamba is an old friend of the royals', and she's married to a close friend of William's, David Rocksavage," he continued. "Really? Rocksavage? That sounds less like a British noble and more like a musician from The Flintstones."
Then he delivered the punchline: "Oh sorry, I'm being told it's actually pronounced 'Chum-lee.'"
As Kate's absence from the public eye continues amid her recovery from abdominal surgery, speculation is running absolutely rampant on social media, and the Rose Hanbury connection is only one of the many threads people are pulling at.
While we wait to receive more information on what the heck is going on, at least we've got the jokes to get us through, right? *cries in royal reporter*
