Late-night hosts talk Trump’s court naps and efforts by rightwing media to spin his inability to stay awake as a heroic act of defiance.
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert opened The Late Show with news that the Biden administration plans to reclassify marijuana from a schedule I drug to a schedule III drug, along with ketamine and some anabolic steroids. “Yes, weed and steroids will now be in the same league,” he said. “So get ready for Phish fans who are jacked.”
Political watchers speculate that the move could boost flagging support for Biden from younger voters. “Yes, it could help Biden,” said Colbert. “Or it could lead to a write-in campaign for ‘Dude, let’s put rainbow sprinkles on the lo mein.’”
In other news, Donald Trump once again fell asleep in court on Tuesday during his criminal hush-money trial. “Oh, so the trial for him covering up having sex with Stormy Daniels is a lot like him having sex with Stormy Daniels: he lasts only a few furious minutes and then nods off,” Colbert joked.
Trump has fallen asleep so many times, in fact, that his attorneys have reportedly tried a “number of different devices” to keep him awake. “Yes, many devices. The most successful of which has been nuggets on a string,” Colbert quipped.
Or, more accurately, keeping at least one lawyer next to him at all times. “He can’t stay awake if he’s alone for 30 seconds?!” Colbert exclaimed. “This does not bode well for a second term.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers also mocked Trump for falling asleep in court. “If your main criticism of your opponent is that he’s sleepy – so much so that you call him Sleepy Joe – then I would say that your one job as a candidate is to not fall asleep in public,” he said.
“You could say a lot of things about Joe Biden. Yes, he’s old. Yes, he sometimes flubs a word or loses steam in the middle of a story. But at least he doesn’t pass out at his own criminal trial like he’s on a red-eye to Barcelona,” he added. “If you can’t make it through your own trial for defrauding voters in the presidential election without nodding off, how are you going to make it through your daily security briefings as president? Are you going to put a bunk bed in the situation room? Who’s going to be on the bottom? Rudy?”
Meyers also joked about Trump’s lawyers many efforts to keep him awake, including putting a stack of papers in front of him. “Oh, did ‘stack of papers’ not work at keeping Donald Trump awake?” Meyers deadpanned. “Have you also tried dramamine soaked in bourbon?”
“Trying ‘stack of papers’ to keep Donald Trump awake is like trying to get a dog to stop licking its stitches by giving it a Rubik’s cube,” he quipped.
“Everyone who witnesses Trump’s behavior in a courtroom describes him like he’s barely even a functioning adult human, except for his loyal servants and rightwing media,” he continued. “The same people who routinely accuse Joe Biden of being in cognitive decline now see Trump’s inability to stay awake during his own criminal trial not as a flaw, but as a relatable quality or even a heroic act of defiance.”
As one Fox News commentator put it, exemplifying the rightwing response: Trump’s naps were “exactly the response this Kafka-esque persecution deserves”.
“You have to have very little self-awareness to criticize Joe Biden for being old but then call Trump a hero for falling asleep,” said Meyers with chagrin.
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel took aim at a favorite target: Senator Ted Cruz, who is supporting a bill that would make it more difficult for consumers to receive a refund from airlines in the event of last-minute delays or cancellations. “He somehow manages to be on the wrong side of literally every issue,” Kimmel laughed. “You almost have to admire his consistency. It’s like he saw all the diarrhea on the planes and was like ‘I want in on that.’”
Kimmel then returned to the issue of Trump’s court naps, which the former president addressed on Truth Social with a joke: “Where’s SLEEPY JOE? He’s SLEEPING, that’s where!!!”
“It’s like a riddle for three-year-olds,” said Kimmel. Even funnier, he said, was that Trump posted it at 4.55am “Even the guy who makes the doughnuts is sleeping,” he joked.
As for the contents of the post itself: “It’s called projection,” he said. “He’s embarrassed that he’s the one who keeps falling asleep, so he projects it on others.”
