Late-night hosts discussed the unusual online reaction to a suspect in the murder of the UnitedHealthcare CEO.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about Luigi Mangione, the suspected shooter of Brian Thompson who was murdered in New York City last week.
He was found at a McDonald’s by one Officer Frye, leading Colbert to make a string of related jokes, including to say that he was working with the force for “a limited time only”.
Since then, Mangione has become “something of an internet celebrity” with many people online not thrilled that he was “McFingered” by those working at the fast-food restaurant.
It has led to some “nasty Google reviews” with people claiming there are “rats behind the counter”. Colbert joked: “You know what they say: snitches get filet-o-fishes.”
He moved on to Trump’s controversial cabinet pick Pete Hegseth, the former Fox News presenter who is the choice for secretary of defense. He has since been dogged by accusations of sexual assault and public drunkenness and has been targeting “key women senators” in DC to get them to confirm his nomination.
“Speaking of women and keys, they are great things to put between your knuckles if you’re approached by Pete Hegseth,” Colbert joked.
Hegseth has also claimed that his comments about women in the military have been misconstrued yet Colbert showed recent footage that makes it all sound “pretty construed to me”. The interview, in which Hegseth said that women shouldn’t be part of the military, happened “all the way back when Pete was one month ago”.
He also spoke of Billy Long, whom Trump has picked to head up the IRS, an institution that he has previously said he wants to dismantle. “Do all of Trump’s nominees want to destroy the agency they’re going to lead?” he asked. “I look forward to secretary of agriculture Jim Locust.”
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host spoke about the many end-of-year lists that have been cropping up, including those being put forward for Time’s person of the year, which includes both Elon Musk and Donald Trump. “Is Elon Musk a person?” he asked. “Because I’ve seen no evidence of that.”
He joked that if Musk wins then “that bromance will blow up like a SpaceX rocket”.
Kimmel moved on to Mangione, the “sexiest alleged murderer of the year”. He joked that “Ryan Murphy right now is flying to Netflix headquarters in a jetpack”.
He said that “a huge wave of horny is washing over us right now” before reading messages sent and shared by his colleagues lusting over the murder suspect.
This week has also seen Donald Trump Jr out and about on apparent dates with a Palm Beach socialite, implying that his engagement with Kimberly Guilfoyle is over. Kimmel wondered what a date with him might entail. “Do you both sip from straws out of the same Monster energy drink?” he asked.
Since then, Trump has nominated Guilfoyle as the United States ambassador to Greece, “one of the farthest countries possible”.
His failed attorney general pick Matt Gaetz has since found a new job, hosting a show on the far-right platform One America News, “like Fox News but crazier and younger, which is just the way Matt Gaetz likes it”.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about the Republican decision to block the ethics committee report on Gaetz and said it was “unfair to release the report this close to a student council election”.
This week has also seen the Trump camp reveal that anyone who donates $1m to the inauguration will win a dinner with Trump and Vance “and for $2m he won’t bring Vance”.
Melania Trump has also been speaking this week about son Barron and that she doesn’t think it is possible for him to be a normal student because of his parents.
“Sure, I mean he’s the white child of a famous rich guy at NYU, he’ll stick out like a regular thumb,” he said.
