Todd Robinson spent seven months alone in lockdown, wishing his partner Glen would return home to the Melbourne apartment they shared together.
"I was just waiting and hoping I would hear Glen's key in the front door and see him and his smile walk through," he said, between tears.
"Sadly, he never returned to our apartment."
Constable Glen Humphris, 32, was one of four police officers killed in a crash on Melbourne's Eastern Freeway in April 2020.
Almost two years after the tragedy, the officers were farewelled in a moving state memorial service on Thursday.
Mr Robinson said "he couldn't see through the fog of grief" at times over the past couple of years, as he encouraged others grieving to reach out for support.
"Today I stand here 94 weeks after I lost my partner Glen. It hasn't been easy getting to this point, the road to recovery after a tragic loss is very long and at times lonely," he said.
"It was my Vic Pol support team, my blue family, that reached out and provided the right words at the right time."
More than 1500 police, family and members of the public gathered at Docklands stadium to honour the four officers, who died after being hit by a truck while on duty in April 2020.
Leading Senior Constable Lynnette Taylor, 60, Senior Constable Kevin King, 50, and constables Humphris and Josh Prestney, 28, were in the emergency lane of the freeway, about to impound a Porsche, when they were hit.
The truck driver responsible has been jailed for 22 years.
Family, police and politicians spoke fondly about the victims of Victoria Police's single greatest loss of life.
Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews opened the service, describing the group as "amazing Victorians" who died while putting their lives on the line to protect others.
"It affected all of us, it broke all of our hearts and it served as a reminder of how dangerous policing is," he said.
Victoria Police Chief Commissioner Shane Patton said it had been 653 days since the tragedy but "not a day goes by where they're not in our thoughts".
The police chaplain who broke the news to Sen Const King's family on the day he died read out a touching tribute from his widow, who described the officer as her "soulmate".
"We miss his smile, his laughter, his sense of humour and most of all his way of making things better," Senior Police Chaplain Drew Mellor said.
The parents of the youngest of the four victims, Const Prestney, paid tribute to their "intelligent, generous, loving" son.
"As hard as it was to lose Josh, harder still has been learning to live without him," his mother Belinda Prestney said.
"Josh's loss has left such a void in the lives of his family, friends and colleagues, now all we have is time while he will stay forever 28."
The young constable's fiance, brother and a friend performed a song in his honour.
Sen Const Taylor was remembered by her cousin, brother, niece and husband as an adventurous women who loved to travel.
"It was extremely difficult for me to read about the horrendous circumstances of the tragedy and the reference to the dying policewoman, knowing that was my sister," David Taylor said.
After the ceremony, more than 1000 Victoria Police members formed a guard of honour circling around the stadium's grounds to pay their respects.
It took almost two years for the victims to be memorialised due to public health restrictions over the pandemic.
