Nearly three years ago, when Gabriel was 18, he faced the most courageous decision of his life.
His parents were part of an extreme religious group who shunned the outside world and were opposed to higher education, but Gabriel had secretly applied to universities far away from home and had received an acceptance letter from a London university to study creative writing.
He faced a choice: continue working alongside his father as a factory worker; or leave for college and probably never see his family again. There was one other critical factor — Gabriel was gay but his parents and their religious group regarded homosexuality as “an abomination” and had ordered him to undergo “conversion therapy” to “straighten him out”.
“It was a crisp, cold day in September,” recalled Gabriel (whose name has been changed). “I took my brothers to school, said goodbye and told them I loved them. I watched them walk away and I became quite emotional. I knew it would be the last time I saw them.”
Gabriel packed a bag, blocked his family on his phone so nobody could contact him and tempt him home, and then headed for London where university — and potential homelessness —awaited him.
Gabriel would use student loans to fund his tuition and term-time accommodation, but in the summer he had nowhere to go and ended up sofa-surfing for three months and later suffered a breakdown. His university referred him to a charity that offered him therapy as well as housing and job support. Without them, Gabriel said, he would have been unable to continue with his degree.
That group, Depaul UK, is the London delivery partner of EveryYouth, a charity that supports a national network of 11 homeless charities and which was announced today as one of three new beneficiaries of our Winter Survival Appeal in partnership with Comic Relief. EveryYouth supports more than 9,000 young people a year, including, in the last 12 months, helping 1,842 into education or employment and 1,444 into their own home.
They and two other charities, Create and the London Black Women’s Project, have been awarded grants of £104,000 each as part of a second and final £1 million tranche of grants from the £2.45 million total raised in our Christmas campaign.
The rest of the £1 million comprises of top-up grants to 11 charities we have already featured in the paper — and which received funding in the first grant round in November and December.
Our backing for EveryYouth comes as figures show that youth homelessness is on the rise, with 136,000 people aged 16-24 across the UK presenting to their local authority as homeless or at risk of homeless in the year to March 2023, a five per cent increase on the previous 12 months.
Nicholas Connolly, chief executive of EveryYouth, said: “This data refers only to young people who reached out for help, a small number compared to the total as it tends to exclude the hidden homeless — people like Gabriel who sofa-surf and might be too embarrassed to contact their council. Official statistics say that more than 80 per cent of young people become homeless because of family breakdown, but this is typically not a single cataclysmic event but rather a trauma that’s been ongoing for years.
“We see our role as helping young people in these situations overcome their difficult start in life. We offer them holistic support — access to therapy, jobs preparation as well as stable housing — so they can leave that life behind. It’s not just about giving a young person a place to live, it’s unlocking their potential.”
For Gabriel, his arrival in London was both a moment of relished freedom and scary vulnerability as he was alone without a friend or relative to support him.
“My aspirations for uni had always been put down by my parents,” he said. “I had been shy to make friends at school because I was taught by my parents that anyone who was not a follower of our religious group would die through Armageddon and that anyone gay was detestable.”
He added: “My father would sometimes give me the belt if I defied him — like if I didn’t want to join the prayer reading that day or they saw something they didn’t like on my phone. I had a guy friend who was just a friend and my dad would throw a fit if he saw us together.”
In London, Gabriel was at last free from his parents’ oppression. He studied full-time and had two part-time jobs — 20 hours a week in an early-years nursery and 10-hours a week in a pub — to get by.
Nevertheless, he still found himself in debt and that his childhood had a long tail.
“I struggled with intimate relationships and got into severe mental health distress,” he said. “I found it upsetting to walk down the street and see families together because I didn’t have one and I became generally very anxious.”
In his second year, his university became concerned and put him in touch with Depaul.
“I started therapy with them but from the beginning, they understood that therapeutic support was just one aspect of my situation,” he said.
“I am so grateful for that understanding. They also gave me financial support in the form of a grant towards my final year tuition, they intervened with debt collectors to set up a payment plan and reduced my stress by acting as the middle-man, and they gave me housing support and crucial career advice.”
For Gabriel, mentoring sessions set up by Depaul with the Society of Authors have been a game-changer.
“They have helped me map out potential career paths,” he said. “My dream is to get a job as a poetry editor in a queer publishing house after my degree and I am currently applying for internships.”
EveryYouth has said that our grant will fund a jobs programme to help homeless young people like Gabriel get into meaningful work.
Gabriel added: “There will always be that crushed, guilty child in me, but the person I am today is built upon a foundation of resilience in overcoming that. I messaged my younger brothers six months after I got to London and they said they understood why I had to leave — and that has made me feel less guilty.
“From being so fearful and ashamed to even ask for help, I now feel full of opportunity and, yes, joy. I am so happy with the tough decisions I made and how things have turned out, but without Depaul, things would have been very different.”
Two other new charity grantees
Create (£104K grant)
Established in 2003, Create is an award-winning charity that seeks to reduce isolation for disadvantaged children and adults — including young carers and the disabled — through the creative arts. They work with artists to boost wellbeing through music, dance, painting, photography and drama. Last year they ran 1,262 workshops across the UK, partnering with carer services, disabled groups, schools, psychiatric hospitals, homeless shelters and prisons.
London Black Women’s Project (£104K grant)
Set up over 30 years ago, this charity supports women and girls who have experienced domestic or sexual violence, and abuse, providing essential services and safe spaces for Black, Asian and minoritised women and girls. They provide seven refuges (six in east London and one in north London), legal advice, immigration advice, housing advice, therapy and a counselling service for mental health support.
