It's perfectly normal to be envious of others sometimes. But if you often feel like "the grass is greener on the other side" you might be interested to learn about the focusing illusion.
The focusing illusion is a term coined by psychologist and Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman. It explains that people tend to focus on one aspect of their lives, while ignoring other aspects.
We make judgements based on a narrow subset of information, rather than considering the full picture.
This selective focus is reinforced by our brain's limited working memory, which can hold only about three to five pieces of information at a time. This also means we tend to give more weight to the information that is most prominent or easily recalled, leading us to exaggerate the impact of specific aspects of our lives.
This bias explains why we might believe that changing one unsatisfactory element of our job will automatically make our work life significantly better, overlooking the fact that other aspects of a new job might be equally or more problematic.
The focusing illusion also affects our personal relationships. It's easy to fixate on a few flaws in a partner or a friend and assume that someone without those specific issues will be a superior match.
The antidote? Make a conscious effort to appreciate and nurture the good things. These are often the familiar, and sometimes even mundane elements that our brains tend to ignore or undervalue. Science shows that practising gratitude can significantly enhance your sense of happiness and satisfaction.
