The current "balloon" wars have been quite entertaining in a weird sort of way with a strange mix of espionage, propaganda and porky pies that are just enough to capture the public's imagination. Perhaps secretly we would like one of these unidentified flying objects (UFO) to be something a bit more mysterious than simply a common weather balloon. But we haven't quite yet reached the "little green men" stage.
The fact that they have started shooting down these mystery objects has made it a bit more exciting, just as long as ET doesn't get blown to pieces while having a quiet afternoon bike ride.
It's all a bit silly really as it is common knowledge all the "big" nations spy on one another. It at least serves as a reminder there are all sorts of objects whizzing around up there including things astronauts accidentally drop like toothbrushes, gloves, cameras and the odd stale pizza. There may even be a few thingamabobs and whatchamacallits.
The only real concern is that these incidents will spark an outbreak of tedious UFO sightings. We might even experience some in Thailand. Over the years there have been sporadic sightings of UFOs in the kingdom but most of them turn out to be speeding tuk-tuks or drivers who have fled the scene.
Some years ago there was one UFO of a slightly different nature when an enraged Thai wife cut off the appendage of her adulterous husband, tied it to a helium balloon and sent it skywards. For all we know it is still up there… unless it was shot down by the Americans.
War of the Worlds
As regards to aliens, nothing will quite match the impact Orson Welles made in his 1938 radio adaptation of the HG Wells classic War of the Worlds. The production proved so realistic that thousands of Americans believed the Martians had actually invaded.
What fooled the listeners was that shortly after the broadcast had begun they hear an announcer very realistically interrupt the programme with "ladies and gentlemen, I have a very grave announcement to make". Then news came in of Martians landing and sweeping across the United States.
It included on the spot reports from correspondents giving vivid accounts of the Martians who were described as "hideous, leathery-skinned creatures with strange heads". In fact, just like your average farang.
Don't panic just yet
A key factor in creating the panic was that many listeners had tuned in after the programme had begun and truly believed it was the real thing.
Things deteriorated when the fictitious president came on and urged citizens not to panic, which of course made them panic even more. Freeways were jammed and there were many sightings of Martians roaming the streets. It was total mayhem, a bit like Bangkok roads on a Friday night.
Back in the studio Welles and his crew were blissfully unaware of the panic they had unwittingly created.
The target? Planet Earth
Readers may recall Skylab, a giant American space station that hurtled back to Earth out of control in 1979. There was a brief scare when it was reported in the Thai media that Skylab was heading for this kingdom, specifically Bangkok. It will come as no surprise that Skylab missed Thailand by thousands of kilometres, ending up somewhere in the Indian Ocean.
Because of its "out of control" image anyone in Thailand at that time who acted a bit crazy was quickly nicknamed "Sa-ky-lap."
Hot rock in Thailand
Some years ago there was a case when something from outer space landed in Thailand. It was part of a meteorite which crashed onto a piece of land owned by a Mrs Khamala, an elderly lady in Lomsak, Phetchabun.
The lady believed this offering from the heavens was something that would bring her good luck, or more specifically, money. Huge crowds of villagers gathered to stare at the lump of rock, most of them convinced it might somehow reveal the winning lottery numbers.
It didn't.
Apparently any alien object that falls out of the sky automatically belongs to the Thai government and Mrs Khamala was most upset when the authorities confiscated the rock in the name of scientific research.
A few months later the authorities relented and handed the rock back to Mrs Khamala who put it in a safety deposit box, a rather sad fate for something from outer space.
The Sky at Night
When I was a kid I used to watch a BBC programme called The Sky at Night hosted by eccentric but knowledgeable astronomer Sir Patrick Moore. His passion for astronomy was infectious and he spoke with such enthusiasm everyone appreciated him.
Although Moore didn't quite turn Britain into a nation of stargazers he certainly got us looking up at the sky after dark with a bit more curiosity than simply looking for the Man in the Moon. I would go out in the garden at night and try to spot such fanciful things as the Milky Way, Pegasus and the Plough up there in the darkness.
Alas the only Plough I became an expert on a few years later was a pub just down the road, while the closest I got to the Milky Way was a rather tasty chocolate bar. It was promoted as "the sweet you can eat between meals" or in my case, any time I felt hungry.
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