Even Kemi Badenoch’s closest friends know to give her a wide berth in the mornings. Especially her closest friends. They know what’s good for them. Sometimes absence is an act of friendship. Intimacy by proxy.
Mornings are when Kemi is at her worst. Up at 6.30am, checking her phone for the latest culture war. Six double espressos. Then she’s ready to get out of bed. Anyone who crosses her path gets swatted away. Don’t even think of offering her a granola bar. An hour of bog standard policing to follow. Making sure the right people go to the right toilet. Ready to pick an argument with anyone.
