For as long as pop music has existed, there have been love songs. And as long as there have been love songs, songwriters have been wrestling with what love means to them. We have been told that love is the best, that it can mend our souls, and keep us alive. But we have also been warned that love is a battlefield upon which we will be torn apart, and eventually killed.
Sitting somewhere between these mixed messages is what I will call the “ugly love songs” category. These are songs that focus on concepts like control, jealousy and emotional blackmail, all presented (to paraphrase U2) in the name of love. It’s unlikely you’ll ever see ugly love songs popping up as a genre search option on Spotify, but here’s what you might find if it did.
First, songs with themes of control and possession. In 2020, a group of psychology researchers used the phrase “you belong to me” in the title of a piece of research which focused on male control, dominance and manipulation of women. Yet these words have been sung in over 600 songs, by artists as diverse as Boyz II Men and Slipknot and used as a song title for the likes of Brian Adams, Steve Perry, Elvis Costello, Dean Martin, Suede and Sam Cooke.
