Stephanie Sibounheuang is publicly mourning the loss of her boyfriend PnB Rock, a month after the rapper was shot and killed during a robbery in September.
On Thursday, Sibounheuang posted a video montage on Instagram set to PnB Rock's song "UNI." The clip shows the rapper kissing and holding Sibounheuang, singing to their daughter and paragliding. At the end of the video, the music stops abruptly and the family raises their glasses in a toast at a restaurant. Sibounheuang's caption takes a more somber tone.
"I am 100% not ok. If I wasn't spiritual I could kill my self (but then I'll go to hell and my man not there)," she wrote.
In her Instagram post, Sibounheuang recalled the fatal shooting at the Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles in South Los Angeles that claimed her boyfriend's life. On Sept. 12, PnB was eating with Sibounheuang when an assailant tried to rob him of his jewelry and shot him multiple times before running out a side door. Less than an hour after the shooting, Rock was pronounced dead.
Sibounheuang wrote that "my man saved my life" and "I'm not supposed to be here but [because] of him. I am."
She recounted details from the crime — which she said she constantly relives in her head — including being "forced in the back of a police car, locked in an interrogation room all night." Sibounheuang said that "everything was finally perfect for our family" before his killing.
She praised him as loyal and patient and said she told the rapper, "I know you my husband. I know you my soulmate" on their last day together.
"Even it was for a little bit. At least we got to experience what having a soul mate is… and for that…I am grateful," she continued. "You told me u hate it took so long, u wish you would've changed way sooner."
Thursday's post was Sibounheuang's first since the rapper's death. While investigating the shooting, Los Angeles Police Chief Michel Moore said that Rock's death occurred soon after he was tagged online as being at the restaurant. Before her boyfriend's death, Sibounheuang disclosed that she was at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles with Rock in a since-deleted Instagram post. Police were investigating whether that is what prompted the attack.
He "was with his family — with his girlfriend or some kind of friend of his — and as they're there, enjoying a simple meal, [he] was brutally attacked by an individual who apparently [came] to the location after a social media posting," Moore said.
Weeks after the South Los Angeles shooting, prosecutors filed murder charges against two people, Freddie Lee Trone, 40, and a 17-year-old boy. A third suspect, Shauntel Trone, 38, was charged with robbery and being an accessory after the fact.
The teenage boy fired the shot that claimed Rock's life.
Since Rock's slaying, Sibounheuang said daily life has become difficult, needing "so much prayer and spiritual therapy to gain the strength to do the simple things." She said "the devil is running loose on earth" and that "my world is dark now," since Rock's death.
"I will never understand a loss so close. I feel so empty" she said.
Sibounheuang's emotional tribute follows those from fellow musicians including Offset, Nicki Minaj, Questlove and D.R.A.M.
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(Los Angeles Times staff writers Kenan Draughorne and Richard Winton contributed to this report.)
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