A beloved pet going missing is something many owners fear. The hope is that someone finds it and, at worst, adopts it, if not just returns it. But what if this hypothetical third party is one’s relative and they didn’t just “find” a missing pet, they stole it instead.
A man asked the internet for some help when he noticed that his wife’s missing pug had shown up on her sister’s social media. So they decided to investigate and, before you ask, this story even has an update. We also reached out to him via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
Confronting family can be stressful
Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
So one man asked for advice on what to do when he strongly suspected his SIL had stolen his wife’s dog
Image credits: lifestock/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lanerinsaner
While all families will have some form of conflict here or there, stealing a pet is a massive red line
Family drama can test even the strongest relationships, but when pets are involved, emotions run especially high. The story of Banjo the pug illustrates how quickly household tensions can escalate into potential legal situations, and it offers valuable lessons about managing conflict when family members cross serious boundaries. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology shows that living with extended family members increases stress levels by approximately 30%, particularly when household rules and values clash. In Banjo’s case, the sister-in-law’s disapproval of outdoor dog housing created simmering resentment that allegedly erupted into action. This pattern is remarkably common: according to a study published in Family Relations, unresolved disagreements about pet care rank among the top ten sources of intergenerational household conflict.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
The immediate instinct when facing suspected theft by a family member is often confrontation, yet the wife’s cautious approach in this story demonstrates wisdom. Direct accusations without evidence can fracture relationships permanently while potentially allowing the accused party to cover their tracks. Instead, documentation becomes crucial. The couple wisely collected screenshots, purchase records, and witness accounts of the social media posts before they disappeared. Family therapist Dr. John Gottman’s research emphasizes that successful conflict resolution requires what he calls “softened startup,” approaching difficult conversations with facts rather than attacks.
The blocking behavior on social media and the sister-in-law’s sudden silence when Banjo is mentioned represent classic signs of deception, according to communication studies from Stanford University, although it doesn’t take a scientist to realize something was off. However, these red flags, while suspicious, still require verification. The stakeout idea, though it sounds dramatic, actually aligns with conflict resolution best practices: gather concrete evidence before escalating the situation.
This approach protects everyone involved, including the sister-in-law, who deserves a fair chance to explain if there’s an innocent explanation. What makes this situation particularly painful is the betrayal of trust within a home. The couple opened their doors to a family member in need, and that generosity was potentially repaid with theft. Research in Psychology Today indicates that betrayal by family members causes deeper emotional wounds than similar actions by strangers because it violates our fundamental expectations of loyalty and safety within kinship bonds.
There might be some steps towards reconciliation, if everyone is willing to be an adult
Moving forward, families in similar situations should consider several steps. First, involve authorities when theft is suspected, even among relatives. Property is property, and pets are considered property legally, regardless of how much we love them as family members. Police reports create official records that can facilitate recovery and establish accountability. Second, set clear boundaries immediately. Whether or not the sister-in-law took Banjo, her living situation needs new ground rules or possibly termination if trust has been destroyed.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
The emotional toll on the wife, who spent a week devastated over her missing pet, highlights another important aspect: self-care during family crises. Studies have shown that pet loss triggers genuine grief comparable to losing a human friend. Supporting a spouse through this experience requires patience, validation of their feelings, and concrete action toward resolution, exactly what the husband appears to be providing. Prevention matters too. Future situations might be avoided through upfront conversations about household expectations, including pet care philosophies. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that families who establish explicit agreements about responsibilities and acceptable behaviors experience 40% fewer serious conflicts.
While the man does later update us on what he does, there are a few takeaways here for anyone in a similar situation. Document everything, seek evidence before confrontation, involve appropriate authorities when laws may have been broken, and recognize that sometimes loving your family means holding them accountable for their actions. Family bonds can survive almost anything with honesty and proper boundaries, but they cannot survive ongoing deception and disrespect. If you want to hear what happens next, read on, the man’s two updates are after the comments we selected below.
People asked some follow-up questions
Readers shared their thoughts
Later, he shared what happened
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He also took his time to respond to some reader comments
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Image credits: Lanerinsaner
Some folks were skeptical
