She counts Brad Pitt and Simon Cowell amongst her list of past lovers, but pop star Sinitta says she lost her mojo when it comes to men. But after signing up to reality series Celebs Go Dating she reckons she’s finally got a spring back in her step and is hoping that’ll ignite a spark in her bedroom too.
Her work with the E4 show’s professional matchmaker Paul Brunson and counsellor Anna Williamson has made her realise why she’s been “suppressing my sexuality.”
In contrast to her relationships with Pitt and Cowell, Sinitta says she was subjected to "a few uncomfortable MeToo incidents" as she tried to navigate the music world.
“What happens is you turn off your sexual energy because you start thinking, ‘Is it something that I’m doing?’ she says.
“It’s like, ‘Oh my God, I’ve been suppressing my sexuality’.
“I turned that light inside of me right down because of the experiences I had, I thought I was to blame.
And then her on/off romance with music guru Simon Cowell, which lasted decades, left her confidence in tatters.
Sinitta burst onto the music scene in the 80s with her iconic track So Macho and went onto have a string of hits over the next decade.
She became hot property in the showbiz world with US music executives desperate to sign her and directors of stage and screen lining up to work with her.
But due to her young age and working in a male dominated industry she claims she was a victim of unwanted advances.
Sinitta says: “I did have a few uncomfortable MeToo moments.
“One time I had a meeting with a big figure in American music, he tried to get me to have sex with him when we were having a business meeting about him managing me.
“I was shocked. It could have all kicked off for me but there was no way Simon would have allowed me to be managed by a man like that.
“I’d be up for films and the director would ask me to come have a talk about scenes and then start trying to do things.”
Simon, who was not only her lover but also her record boss at the time, became a shield against sexual predators in the industry and Sinitta admits her experience could have been far worse if she hadn’t had him as her “armour”.
“I would be like, “Oh, my boyfriend, Simon, wouldn’t like it if I do this.”
“I used to blame Simon in those moments because I’d think, “Oh, they’ll respect him, they won’t respect me.”
“The director was like, “Oh. Simon doesn’t have to know,” and I said, “But he will know”. So Simon was like my shield, he was like my bit of armour.”
The pair dated in the 80s and their bond remains today, but Sinitta admits it hasn’t been plain sailing.
She’s been seen as part of Simon’s “harem” of women over the years, later becoming his trusted sidekick on the X Factor.
But she admits he kept her hanging for years, always leaving her with hope they’d be lovers again one day.
She says: “There was always another conversation that people didn’t know about behind the scenes that was a, “Just be patient,” conversation.
“I became the queen of patience, like, “Okay, fine,” because I’ve known him all my life, so I trust him.
“I was only frustrated if other girls seemed to come from nowhere and suddenly be in pole position. I’d be like, ‘Hang on. This is hurtful here’.”
Their romantic relationship changed when Simon fell for his now fiancé, Lauren Silverman, who just happened to be Sinitta’s best friend.
Their relationship came as a hammer blow for the 59-year-old.
“Lauren and I were best friends. I was admittedly quite shocked and a bit hurt when they got together.
“When you’ve been with someone for that many years, you are like an ex-wife because it’s not a fling or a girlfriend you’ve had for a few years.
“It was hard for me. Sometimes I would be thinking, “I don’t think I can be there because...”
“Let’s just put it this way, it’s difficult to go from the master bedroom to the guest accommodation.”
Sinitta had to swallow her feelings and finally got closure in 2014 when Lauren became pregnant with Simon’s first child, Eric.
She adds: “I will say definitely, when Lauren and Simon were pregnant with Eric, to me, that was closure.
“It was like, “Okay, this is actually now a proper beginning of the end,” because I am quite traditional, believe it or not.
“I’m not someone who would sleep with somebody else’s husband or boyfriend even. I won’t even date my friends exes.
“It was just that feeling of, “this is really it now”. It felt a bit like a death. It might sound dramatic, but the finality, it was hard.
“He was saying, “Nothing has changed.” Nothing has changed, but everything had changed.
“I just needed, I think, to be single after Simon, I needed to grow up emotionally, because I think when you’ve had the same person in your life since you were so young, it’s either your bad habit or it’s your default button.
“He’s just been there for me in so many different circumstances and I’ve been there for him.
“I needed to grow up the romantic side of myself to feel like, “Guess what? That’s really, really done. Now, what do you want?” I didn’t know what I wanted.”
That was her driver for turning to the agents on Celebs Go Dating to help her work out exactly what kind of man she wants by her side.
So what is she looking for?
“I’m looking for a grown-ass man! Yeah, he’s got to be a proper man, grown up, mature, sophisticated.
“They don’t have to have a mega six-pack. Even if they’re not super fit, but they’re willing to get fit, because I’m willing to help someone get fit.
“But also someone who wants to have a relationship, because I’ve never been interested in casual sort of flings and things like that.
“I want a husband, maybe just a boyfriend, but I’ve been single for about eight to nine years now, and I’m ready.”
Sinitta, who shares custody of her adopted children Magdalena and Zac with ex-husband Andy Willner, has been on a string of dates on the show so far and admits it’s boosted her confidence.
She says: “I said to the agents, I can see men noticing me and smiling.
“It’s literally been in these last few months I’ve been feeling that attention. I think it’s because the show has made me feel like it’s OK to turn that light back on again.”
- Celebs Go Dating is on week nights, E4 at 10pm.
