A performance coach who turned to solo IVF to have her son because she feared she was running out of time to find the perfect partner has used her experience to build a dating app for people wanting to start families.
Stacy Thomson, 43, founder of Reddi dating app, had Milo, one, in 2021 by herself, after failing to find a suitable partner to have a child with on the regular sites she was using.
Stacy, of St Albans, Hertfordshire, who hopes she will also find Mr Right on her app, said: “Everyone on online dating platforms seemed to just want something casual and it was difficult to wade through the men who didn’t share the same life goals as me.”
She added: “I did a fertility test in July 2020 and it came back with quite a poor result which worried me. I knew the clock was ticking and I was running out of options.
“I ultimately made the decision to have a baby by myself, which I have no regrets about, but it wasn’t how I imagined starting a family.
“That’s why I’ve now launched a new app for people who are aiming to start or expand families.”
For Stacy, finding someone who also wanted children was very important.
She said: “I’ve always wanted kids, but I imagined I’d have a loving relationship before bringing a child into the world.
“It was only as I got older and older that I realised it might not happen.”
She added: “The biggest problem is that, once you’re in your late 30s, if you’ve got that you want kids in your dating profile then that puts off a lot of men.
“Unfortunately, on most apps you can’t filter out people who don’t want children or it can be ambiguous with when they want to start a family.”
And Stacy admits that she grew tired of searching for ‘the one’.
I know from first-hand experience that navigating the world of online dating is not an easy task.— Stacy Thomson
She said: “I just got fatigued by online dating. My last relationship ended at the one-year mark and I suddenly realised I was single at 40.
“After taking a fertility test and it coming back quite negative, I knew I had to do something soon if I wanted to become a mum.
“I’ve always been the kind of person who is fast to act once I’ve made a decision. I had the fertility test in July 2020 and by the September I was having my eggs harvested.”
She added: “My first round of IVF was a success, I was very lucky.”
And while Stacy was delighted to find out she was pregnant, she admits that the IVF journey was difficult alone.
She said: “It was a very lonely process. I didn’t imagine having children this way.”
She added: “I remember being in hospital, waiting to be sent down for my c-section, sitting on the bed while I was given an epidural and I was sobbing.
“I think I was grieving for the life I thought I’d have.”
Baby Milo was born in August 2021 and, Stacy has now founded her new dating app for people wanting to start families.
She said: “Being a single mum has been both challenging and wonderful.
“I’m so glad I decided to take that leap but there are other people out there who might not be able to afford or want to have a baby without a partner and, for them, they end up missing out when they’re unable to find a suitable relationship.
“This sparked the idea for Reddi, a new kind of dating platform where people share the same values and life goals.”
The app, which was launched in July this year, is an exclusive, member-only site and Stacy says she already has around 200 people on the waiting list.
She said: “Each profile is vetted by a human being before they’re allowed on the site. This is because we want to make sure everyone is genuine and on the platform for sincere reasons.
“We use social media accounts as part of the vetting process but, for us, it’s not about status, who you know or what you do, it’s as much about whether you are a well-rounded, decent human being who cares about other people and is serious about a finding a partner.”
I’m still single but I am on the app and I’m definitely still hopeful for love.— Stacy Thomson
The application process will give priority to those who are recommended by other existing members of the community, with selected members having access to ‘Golden Tickets’, allowing their referred friends to jump up the waiting list.
If you do get accepted, you will be given the choice of various membership options, initially starting at £36 for three months.
Stacy said: “The app is just the start. We have big dreams about the future, creating both online and offline experiences for our members.”
She added: “The worst thing for someone who wants to have a family, even if only in their longer-term future, is to enter a relationship, only to find out that they don’t share the same vision as their prospective partner.
“This can and has led to many wasted years, not to mention the heartbreak and unrealised fulfilment, which can last a lifetime.”
And Stacy is well aware of online dating’s pitfalls.
She said: “I know from first-hand experience that navigating the world of online dating is not an easy task.
“The endless options have inevitably led to many people experiencing an overwhelming sense of dating fatigue, which I’ve felt too.
“Post pandemic, many daters have less desire for casual dates and hook-ups. Instead, they have a greater desire to date with more purpose and Reddi aims to help them do just that.”
Now Stacy hopes her app will help her to find love.
She said: “I’m still single but I am on the app and I’m definitely still hopeful for love.
“At the moment, I’m very busy – between looking after Milo and running my business – but I’m excited to see what the future holds.
“Who knows, I may find someone for myself on Reddi.”
