The heat is rising, London is sweltering already and it seems we are in for another summer of people saying the word ‘unprecedented’ every five seconds. Given infrastructure failure and pets cooking in their own fur, men’s fashion choices are perhaps low down the list of concerns, but for those confined to offices it can quickly head to the top of priorities when a casual glance at a colleague may result in a retina imprint of an expanse of white inner thigh which no amount of CBT can erase.
Yet last summer a YouGov survey found attitudes had changed. The data revealed 66 per cent of Britons were in support of men wearing shots in the office, and only 29 per cent were against it. This was compared to a 2016 survey in which 56 per cent of people said this wasn’t acceptable and 37 per cent were in favour.
Last year’s heat peak in London, when the 40-degree barrier was burst, seemed to be the moment when shorts were suddenly considered acceptable for men at work and no longer taboo. No-one liked it, but it had to be done, things were ‘unprecedented’. However, as is often typical of men, give them an inch and they take a mile… Shorts? A beautiful thing compared to what has followed: open-toed footwear.
This year it is already clear that men’s toes — with all their hair, corns, fungi and jam — have broken in a big way in London. Sandals. Sliders. Flip-flops. Everything is permitted. Sales of Dr Martens sandals have been soaring as even a suggestion of rugged cool comes into play.
While we can look the other way — anywhere else — when it comes to such sights on the Tube, when it comes to open-toed footwear for men in offices, a line must surely have to be drawn.
We don’t have a YouGov poll to go on, but I would venture that most people would be against it. Companies banning men from this may sound sexist or even be a human rights issues, but it’s simply practical: having men’s toes sticking out from under desks, padding through kitchenettes or scraping down whiteboard presentations, can cause distruption due to the stimultion of the gag reflex in colleagues. Workflow can suffer. Targets missed. The economy could grind to a halt.
There has been an admirable breaking of gender style stereotypes in the last few years, with the likes of ASAP Rocky popularising nail art for men, but prettifying our hands is one thing, the feet is quite another. Men are operating from generations of foot neglect where basic hygiene is rarely a consideration, never mind any attempts at making them presentable in public. Speaking as a man with feet I should be imprisoned for, I implore my fellow grim-toed men to take responsibility and stick with socks. Your city needs you.
