We have all ended up encountering people who for some unfathomable reason believe that they are truly entitled to your time, energy, and money. One way or another, we all have to deal with them while trying to preserve a shred of our own sanity.
A woman shared her frustrating experience with a coworker who decided that she was entitled to a free manicure over lunch. She would pester OP over and over in some deluded attempt to get her to spend her entire lunch break and more just doing her nails, for free. Commenters attempted to figure out just how her reasoning worked.
Entitled people are unfortunately everywhere, from one’s family to the workplace
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One worker shared her experience with a woman who insisted on getting a “free manicure” over lunch
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: garetsworkshop (not the actual photo)
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Entitlement is often directly connected to narcissistic personality disorder
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While it can be hard to pin down, most psychologists believe that this sort of entitlement comes from some degree of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). From a very twisted point of view, this coworker might legitimately believe that OP has to give her a manicure and, even further, that she is doing her a favor by allowing her to “practice.”
Most humans are rational, so we tend to avoid strategies that constantly don’t work. But as one comment mentioned, this woman’s approach has probably worked out for her in the past. Most likely it has worked enough times to justify acting like this regularly. If she truly suffers from NPD, she is unlikely to even consider that these tactics are wrong, counterproductive, and downright annoying.
However, entitlement has its own quirks over regular narcissism and sociopathy. For better or worse, true narcissists and sociopaths don’t see a lot of value in other people and tend to be somewhat independent. Entitled people are annoying precisely because they feel entitled to something that isn’t actually theirs like a parent wanting their kid’s money or a coworker demanding OP spend her lunch break on a free manicure.
Entitled people are often unhealthily dependent on others
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Indeed, people who are dependent on others for a long period of time often develop a sense of entitlement to the privileges and things given to them. The stereotypical manchild living in their parent’s basement who constantly complains is partially based on reality. As a result, some psychologists suggest that very entitled people might have narcissistic traits but aren’t true narcissists.
The waters are further muddled by the fact that not all entitlement is bad. There are things we can earn and are right to demand, for example, in the workplace or in a relationship. Indeed, earning certain rights and privileges does tend to be psychologically healthy for a person. It helps with self-image and setting good boundaries.
After all, asking a partner not to disregard your feelings or to sometimes do the dishes isn’t an entitlement, it’s a normal and healthy request. Not working after hours without extra pay or demanding to be paid on time isn’t a sign of an entitled worker, it’s a normal demand for a boss to comply with labor laws.
It’s unclear why this woman can’t afford her own manicure
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Of course, while this woman feels entitled to OP’s time, OP is actually entitled to spend her lunch break exactly how she pleases, which most would agree should consist of some food and relaxation, not someone else’s nails. Similarly, this woman should probably direct her efforts to her husband who reportedly sees a manicure as a waste of time. While he is free to have his opinions, it’s unclear why a woman with a full-time job can’t just pay for it herself.
If this woman is truly, somehow, fully dependent on her husband’s money, this would suggest the sort of entitlement-dependency cycle that some psychologists believe could be the cause of this kind of behavior. Unfortunately, instead of dealing with her own issues, this woman is using office gossip to manipulate people against OP just because she refuses her demands.