Every now and again, there’s a crazy story that unfolds online. This time, it’s a husband and wife of 10 years going back and forth on Reddit. The trigger for this family drama is the wife’s father who was financially struggling. The woman wanted to move him into the basement of the family home, but the husband refused, claiming the space was his.
The husband, before deactivating his account, recounted this story right before New Year’s Eve on the r/RelationshipAdvice subreddit. In a surprise twist of events, the wife came to the comments to give her two cents and revealed some not-so-nice things about the husband. This was a day after she made a separate post on the r/TrueOffMyChest community. The update included the aftermath of their argument and some more behind the scenes of their marriage.
Buckle up, pandas, for this is one wild family drama we’re about to embark on
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The story started with the husband asking for advice about his FIL moving in
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Image credits: [deleted]
Image credits: EkaterinaPereslavtseva (not the actual image)
The wife saw her husband’s post and decided to roast him in the comments
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Here are some reactions and advice from commenters
A day later, the wife posted an update on another subreddit and said the divorce is happening
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It’s important to differentiate between narcissism as part of someone’s personality and narcissism as a personality disorder
People in the comments under the wife’s update started speculating whether the husband could be a narcissist. She even commented: “God knows when he gets together with his surgeon friends, it’s a gathering of the most self-important narcissists I’ve ever seen.”
That’s a pretty wild generalization to label a whole profession. However, if they know what counts as narcissistic behavior, people might abstain from throwing such serious accusations around.
Keep in mind that just as with any other condition, only mental health professionals can diagnose NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). With that said, let’s see what mental health experts online have to say about it.
Loren Soeiro, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist notes that people should not mistake narcissism with self-centeredness, which is common. That’s not to say that narcissism isn’t rare. “Everyone has narcissistic needs,” Soeiro writes in a blog post for Psychology Today. “Which is another way of saying that every person needs to be appreciated for their good qualities by the important people in their lives.”
Clinical narcissism, on the other hand, is far more nuanced. “Most narcissists lack empathy, and their behavior is dominated by efforts to meet their own deep need for validation,” Soeiro goes on. “They may hurt people with their words or their actions, but without knowing they’ve done so, as they don’t possess the empathy necessary to really feel others’ pain.”
The three most common types of narcissists
Clinical psychologist and author of A Deeper Wellness: Conquering Stress, Mood, Anxiety and Traumas Monica Vermani, PsyD, described three common types of narcissism: covert, overt, and malignant. Covert narcissism is the most common, Vermani told Oprah Daily.
These people tend to internalize criticism and take it more harshly than the person intended. Annie Wright LMFT describes covert narcissists as people who “often portray themselves as introverted, shy, or even selfless individuals when in reality, their motivations are deeply rooted in an ardent desire for admiration, attention, and control within their relationships.”
Overt narcissism stands at the other end of the spectrum from covert narcissism. Psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, PhD, writes that overt narcissism includes traits of self-importance and lack of empathy. “Overt narcissists often exaggerate their achievements, expect special treatment, and take advantage of others for personal gain,” Hollman writes. “Others may perceive them as successful, but anxiety and low self-esteem lie beneath their false facades.”
Malignant narcissism is the most severe, mental health experts say. Elizabeth Scott, PhD, writes for Very Well Mind that malignant narcissists can be manipulative and don’t care about hurting others as long as it serves them.
“People with this subtype contain the general traits of NPD, including regular egocentricity. They also have antisocial traits and even a sadistic streak, as well as a poor sense of self and lack of empathy,” the expert writes.
Carder Stout, PhD, a Los Angeles-based psychologist also noted that narcissism as a personality disorder is rare. “We all have narcissistic tendencies – self-centeredness, vanity, belief that we are in the right – but to possess the qualities of a diagnosable narcissist is rare.”
Commenters offered support and advice for the wife
