Everyone wants something different in a relationship, so the couples that last are the ones where goals and beliefs align well and people are willing to compromise on the right things. But a healthy relationship also requires some boundaries and perhaps a “line in the sand” for one partner to not take advantage of the other.
A man gave his partner an ultimatum after she wanted to be a “stay-at-home GF” and refused to get a job. She had already refused to get any job she disliked while encouraging him to get a second job, so he was at his last straw.
Being in a relationship means sometimes making sacrifices for your partner
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But one man was at his wits end when his GF refused to find herself a job
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Image credits: Significant_Bench571
“Who does what” is often a difficult conversation to have in many relationships
As so many commenters have already noted, OP’s GF is delusional. This is not to say that a “stay-at-home GF” doesn’t exist, but generally, this is only the case when one partner is very wealthy and can afford it. Given the fact that OP can only just make ends meet alone, it’s pretty clear that he gets nothing out of “homemaker” if he has to work two jobs.
Unfortunately, money is often enough a pitfall for many couples, as it can be uncomfortable to talk about. This is often a make-or-break topic, because the world, for better or worse, does revolve around making ends meet. A relationship does require both parties to be able to rely on each other. This story even provides a good example of that, with Op’s job allowing his GF to leave a toxic working environment.
However, it’s not actually sustainable in the long run, if OP has to completely burn himself out to make any money. A homemaker is great, but only when the bills are actually paid. How exactly is this woman going to cook for OP (if she is even willing to go that far) if they might struggle to afford groceries?
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Putting all their eggs in one basket is risky
There are all sorts of practical reasons to have more than one source of income anyway. What if OP gets injured or sick for a prolonged period? A homemaker can help very little in that case. What if he gets fired or laid off? What if she gets sick and they need to cover hospital bills. It doesn’t seem like they can actually develop any savings without OP ending up so burnt out it stunts his physical and mental health.
It’s also particularly toxic to, in one breath, state that there are no good jobs, and then, in another, tell your partner that he should find a second job. If there truly were no employment opportunities, this would be more acceptable. Indeed, being a “stay-at-home GF” would be the least she could do. Instead, she is arguing that it’s somehow more desirable than real and normal financial stability.
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The GF’s entitlement doesn’t match up to her own refusal to work
The truth is that most adults are already their own housekeepers. Most people, particularly if they are single, can and do cook something for themselves. Laundry gets done, dishes get washed and so on. The GF “offering” to do these tasks seems superfluous when neither of them have kids nor live in a mansion.
She would only put the “stay” in “stay-at-home GF” because she is asking OP to do hours more work, while only “saving” him a few hours a week on household chores. The degree of entitlement is simply too much, particularly when she refuses to do what she is asking him to do. After all, OP could be a homemaker if he really had to, but his GF is refusing the, often much more simple, task of just getting a job.
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Many readers sided with OP
