Blending families isn’t always easy. No matter how much you love your spouse, their children might take some time to warm up to you. And yours might not be thrilled to have a new parent and new siblings all at once. But family drama should not escalate to the point where police have to get involved.
One woman recently posted a story on Reddit detailing how her teenage stepdaughter lied to the police and attempted to get her arrested. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as a conversation with the mother and some of the replies concerned readers shared.
It’s common for children to have complicated relationships with their stepparents
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)
But when this woman’s stepdaughter attempted to have her arrested, she knew that they could no longer live together
Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: One-Prompt7701
“We’ve gotten through any ups and downs previously, but this last time was the last straw for me”
To learn more about this situation, we reached out to the mom who shared this story online, Reddit user One-Prompt7701. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and provide an update on the situation.
“Stepdaughter is living with my mother in law. She has a phone, all social media and has full freedom to do what she pleases,” the mother shared. “She just started a job today. My husband refuses for any punishment to be given to her outside of being kicked out. She’s had zero consequences at my MIL’s house either. She got what she wanted. Freedom from rules, got pulled out of school to take GED at 18 and has a job to buy everything she wants.”
We were also curious about the author’s relationship with her stepdaughter. “I’ve been married for two years, friends [with my husband] for 14 years and together for 7 years,” she says. “My relationship only goes downhill when she acts up with police involved or does something manipulative. We’ve gotten through any ups and downs previously, but this last time was the last straw for me. Her and I were just fine prior to her police calling in June. She acted like those Velcro kids you have to peel off of you.”
But unfortunately, the mom says she’s unsure if she’ll ever have a relationship with her stepdaughter again. “It would have to be some serious change and probably her being grown and becoming a mother before we even sit down for a conversation again,” she noted. “But I’ll never trust her again. I don’t want her talking to or around her siblings until they are 18 and making their own decisions without her evil guidance.”
“I had so much faith in her and invested so much love and time and money into her, and she slapped me in the face with what she did”
We also asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. “[They] were exactly how I felt, but my husband was trying to diminish those feelings of not wanting her around or forgiving her. Some people mentioned some helpful possible diagnosis for her, but we may never know if she’s mentally messed up or just plain evil. She refuses to do the work with a therapist or even see a psychiatrist. I’ve tried two therapists who both said to let them know when she’s ready to actually do the work.”
Unfortunately, the teen has not shown any remorse for her actions. “She still stands firm that I beat her with the laptop, even though there’s cameras with multiple viewpoints to show I never once touched her. I didn’t even yell at her,” the mom says. “She’s back on social media on twerk pages bent over with her butt out and smoking vapes and weed. She’s right where she wants to be and doing everything she dreamt of.”
“Her goals were to be an internet star and video girl. She has so much potential to be more than that, and she’s a beautiful girl with A LOT more to offer than her body. It’s sad because I had so much faith in her and invested so much love and time and money into her, and she slapped me in the face with what she did and pissed on it,” the mother shared. “It’ll never be the same. I see my marriage ending in divorce at this point.”
Blended families are extremely common nowadays
While it might not be the most traditional way of having a family, remarrying and combining families to include stepchildren and stepparents is extremely common. According to the Pew Research Center, 40% of new marriages in the United States are actually remarriages, and a quarter of married adults aren’t with their first spouse at the moment.
And of course, many of these couples have children. Smart Stepfamilies reports that there are over 10.5 kids living in residential stepfamilies in the United States. At the same time, about a third of Americans have a step-relationship with at least one other person.
So although there is an archetype of the wicked stepmother, the reality is that many people coexist with their stepparents and stepsiblings quite well, once they’ve gotten through the initial adjustment period. When it comes to building a relationship with stepchildren, Smart Stepfamilies notes that the most important thing is to let the child dictate the pace of the relationship.
Don’t try to force anything, and don’t pressure them to hang out with you. Respect their boundaries, and understand that it might take them time to adjust. And remember to relax. You have plenty of time to spend with them and strengthen that bond; don’t feel like you’re in a rush.
It’s very rare for children to lie about abuse
Image credits: ADDICTIVE_STOCK / envato (not the actual photo)
If your stepchildren are teens, remember to be incredibly patient. We all know that puberty, hormones and the stress of adolescence can turn teenagers into sassy, independent young people who constantly feel misunderstood. The vast majority of parents have conflicts with their teens, so it’s understandable that these issues might be even worse for stepparents.
But in this particular story, the teen wasn’t simply sneaking out in the middle of the night or getting grounded for talking back to her parents. She could have ruined her stepmother’s entire life with her accusations. The Indiana Chapter of the National Children’s Alliance notes on their site that teens and kids rarely lie about abuse, so it’s always best to believe them unless there’s proof that they’re fabricating a story.
It’s an unfortunate fact that 90% of the time, when a child is abused or sexually assaulted, the perpetrator was someone that they know, often a family member. And it’s much more common for kids to deny that abuse is happening when it actually is than for them to make it up. In fact, the National Children’s Alliance reports that false accusations only make up about 2% of all child sexual abuse reports.
Lying to the police can actually be a crime in and of itself
Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
But in rare circumstances like this story, when a parent truly has been wrongfully accused, Verywell Mind has shared recommendations for how to respond. They suggest complying with the investigation and being as cooperative as possible, gathering evidence to support your case, informing friends and family about what’s going on and asking loved ones if they would be willing to provide a statement or interview supporting you.
In the United States, child abuse is either a misdemeanor or a felony, depending on the state and the circumstances, Shouse Law Group explains on their site. But it can also be a crime to lie to the police. According to CriminalDefenseLawyer, lying to a police officer could lead to charges of making false statements, obstruction of justice, giving police a false name, falsely reporting and/or accessory after the fact.
While child abuse is an extremely serious topic that should not be taken lightly, it’s scary to know that this teen could have ripped her family apart and destroyed her stepmother’s life just because she was bitter about her laptop being taken away.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation down below, pandas. Do you think this mom was overreacting? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece featuring similar family drama, we recommend reading this article next.
Readers assured the woman that her reaction was warranted and shared advice on what to do next
