LOS ANGELES -- In the classic TV sitcom "Seinfeld," the boundary-violating friendship is played for laughs. When across-the-hall neighbor Kramer, practically the patron saint of overstepped boundaries, forages fridges, borrows clothes or barrels uninvited into Jerry's apartment, it's comedy gold. In real life, though, setting boundaries with friends is no laughing matter.
That has a lot to do with the less rigid, more free-form nature of the nonmarital, nonfamilial friend relationship itself. Bright-line no-fly zones are harder to set and maintain when expectations and boundaries vary wildly from friendship to friendship, and doubly so when they shift over time within the same friendship. (It's a lesson many of us learned through the last two years of polarizing politics and the COVID-19 pandemic.)
As daunting as it can seem, learning how to successfully set clear boundaries with your friends is important for two big reasons. First — and this may seem counterintuitive — it makes you a better friend.
