See your partner as an ally, not adversary: what I learned about modern relationships from writing the Intimate Details series

‘Most of us know what they are and most of us are terrible at them, at least some of the time’: the fundamentals of a good relationship are not revelatory, and take considerable effort. Photograph: IanDagnall Computing/Alamy

Romantic relationships have a lot to answer for – insufferable smuggery when we’re getting it right and some of our worst haircuts (and behaviour) when they hit the skids. But good, bad or ugly, we could scarcely call ourselves human without them. Ever a wellspring of intrigue, matters of the heart are a source of endless fascination (and often frustrations) for us all. So we decided to ask readers for their stories.

And they did not disappoint. Since Intimate Details was conceived five months ago, we’ve received more than 1,000 reader responses to 15 topics, sharing anecdotes and advice on some of the most complicated issues faced in relationships, from fidelity to finances to family and much in between. While new romantic trends are on the rise (ethical non-monogamy and voluntary celibacy were some of the most responded to topics), according to readers the eternal concerns of trust and respect remain crucial.