A Scots woman who has been conducting affairs behind her husband's back for ten years says the infidelity is what keeps her marriage alive.
Gilly tied the knot with her husband 21 years ago but says the romance became stale a decade in. She turned elsewhere to fulfil her desires, the Mirror reports, and says that doing so has actually strengthened the bond with her partner.
The 47-year-old, from Inverness, resorted to cheating after arguing with her husband about how often they were getting intimate after she said lovemaking felt like a "chore". But she says that she has since come to the conclusion that it is "unrealistic" to expect every one of her needs to be met by one partner.
She said: "My husband wasn't fulfilling me sexually and I did at the time feel like it was causing arguments because I felt like I was pressuring him for sex. No one wants to feel like sex is a chore, it's completely the opposite of what it should be - fun!
"So me just being me... a bit adventurous, I thought I'd give it a go. It was on a whim at first that clearly has just stuck. I didn't set out for the long haul."
Gilly, who asked for her surname not to be used, had flings with a number of men until she met her current lover, 45, seven years ago. He is also married – and the commitments they have elsewhere mean they understand and respect one another's boundaries.
She continued: "The passion is still there after all these years. We meet up for sex when we can and it's always a thrill.
"Sometimes it's naughty in public places, and others it's in our houses or hotels, but it's always passionate. We also meet up like any other couple for dates. It's like a completely normal relationship without the annoying naggy bits.
"For me, [the affair] ensures my needs are met from all angles. I think it's unrealistic to expect one person to be able to fulfil and meet every single need you have – sex, conversation, stability, security.
"It's not possible for one person to do all that, I don't think. Letting yourself love multiple people I think helps you appreciate them even more because you're focussing on what they add to you, not what they lack.
"My lover fulfils my side of adventure and I'm a really sexual person - I need that passion, that naughtiness to feel alive. Whereas my husband gives me stability and security - he's who I'd trust with my life."
Gilly is still sexually active with her husband but feels there is now less pressure on him to perform when she needs it. She sees her lover anywhere from several times a week to once a month, under the guise of "working late" or taking business trips.
She hasn't come clean to her husband. She doesn't intend to let slip, either, despite some close calls.
She added: "Perhaps controversially, I don't see why I'd need to. Our marriage runs pretty perfectly considering we've been together for so long. I really enjoy spending quality time with my husband rather than the grind of daily life.
"When you live with someone 24/7 you can become stuck in a rut, watching TV all night, barely talking. I don't feel like we're like that and he's certainly not had any complaints.
"If you're in it for the long haul you have to be organised. You have to have a good memory or you'll slip up and tell someone something you shouldn't then have to backpeddle your way through it. You've got to be prepared to put in the work."
Gilly met her long-term lover on affairs website Illicit Encounters. She has however admitted the existence of her secret lover to a few of her friends, who have then followed suit.
She summed up: "It feels like a bit of a taboo - women taking control of their sex lives - but I'd honestly recommend women to do it more. Do something for yourself, ladies."
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